In A Jar

Student Movement

2011-02-24T15:52:00.004-05:00

2000 Students march down Spring Garden Road in a Day of Action, Feb 2

Out here in Nova Scotia, the government is looking to raise tuition some more.

The 3-year MOU has run out with the province, and the government announced to students that tuition would rise 3% and universities would receive a 4% spending cut. There has been no official consultation with student groups yet.

On February 2, in a snow storm, 2000 students came out in a Day of Action and marched through the downtown to show the province how we feel about that.

It's too bad the day was ignored in a lot of media, though it was a major demonstration that tied up traffic downtown.

While I don't really love the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS), I loved the event. There's something to be said for being a part of a literal movement, something beyond a Facebook group and an e-petition. It was well-planned, well-attended, and there was a dance party to boot.

Here's some coverage from The Watch, the King's newspaper, from the Dalhousie Gazette as well as from a blogger who has similar issues as I do with the CFS.

Gap Year

2011-02-22T12:58:00.003-05:00

This article from today's Globe and Mail, as well as my younger sister's impending decision on university for next year, have me thinking about gap years.

When I was thinking about university in grade 12, I was warned away from a gap year. It was Christmas time, the worst time in grade 12, because you are forced into rooms all those people you never see and they all ask the only thing they can think of: "What are your plans for next year?"

At one such event a university prof in the room went off about gap years being wasted time. He threw around disturbing statistics about rates of return to school post-time away. By the end a seed of doubt had been planted.

While I certainly see the problems associated with a gap year, I think they have more to do with the student than the year. If someone who is highly unmotivated takes a year to sit around playing video games and sleep on his parents' couch, that is problematic. However, if the same person attended university immediately after school, he would do many of the same things, except while paying thousands of dollars for it. A more motivated student might spend the time more wisely, considering options, saving money, and learning from his or her peers' mistakes.

Ultimately, I chose not to take a gap year, though my first year was much like a gap year in some ways. I took an interdisciplinary first-year programme. It's a self-contained year, creates the opportunity for exploration into many subjects, and allows a student to build independence. When I got to second year, I felt much more comfortable choosing a path since I had done this exploring.

I'm not sure how I would have spent a gap year. Working would be valuable, and travel could be enriching as well. One of the most compelling reasons is to turn off the university pressure from parents and teachers. Many students would do well, or better, with more specialized training in a college environment, but are discouraged from it. While I believe a good education in any subject is never wasted, it is difficult to obtain a good education when you're disengaged from it.

Rich Aucoin in Ottawa

2011-02-16T16:30:00.002-05:00

Hello team,

This is a public service announcement. If you are in Ottawa this Friday, February 18, Rich Aucoin of Halifamous fame is bringing his dance party to Cafe Deckuf.

Go. You will not be sorry. You will dance, you will sweat, you will watch scenes from the Grinch (oh yeah, his music is synced to video.)

Confetti canons may be involved.

Read more on Apt 613.

A Review

2010-12-29T14:32:00.003-05:00

It's been a while since this blog has had some love. Part of this is because of my other project sucking up time. But honestly? I've never been more in love with blogging, and I think it's about time I spread that back here.

I've been trying to figure out what I want to do with this blog. For a while I was thinking about moving to a different blog and doing something more professional, more like a portfolio, but I decided that I'm not ready to say goodbye to In A Jar. It started as a way to keep in touch with old friends and make new ones and I want to keep it around.

New Year's blog resolution: try to give this blog more love. I don't think it will be exactly the same as it's been; I want to try to include longer pieces when I can. But I also want to use it to keep in touch.

Thank you guys, whoever is left reading here. Hopefully I can build it up again. Feel free to email me with questions or comments, any time: inajarblog at gmail dot com.

Ottawa Guide

2010-10-05T22:17:00.005-04:00

We interrupt this radio silence to bring you the AWESOME Ottawa Guide from the FUN design blog Design*Sponge!

Check it out.

My neighbourhood made the "cool" cut - and so did Raw Sugar!

The Divide

2010-09-20T21:44:00.002-04:00

I know it's been a while since I posted, and I'd love to catch you up, for now now here's something that's on my mind today.

Parliament is back this week, and the long gun registry is one of the top issues. Before this year, the registry was not something I thought about very much. And until yesterday, I'd never encountered a rifle at work, killing anything.

As a middle-class, white girl living in an urban centre, all I knew was guns are scary, and they're for bad guys. In my young, Bambi-loving heart, hunters all counted as bad guys. Because Bambi is CUTE. Over the years, I learned a little more about guns. I shot a BB gun while visiting my godfather in Massachusetts one summer, and thought it was kind of fun, although that probably had more to do with the fact that I hit the target than the act of shooting. I watched a lot of cop shows, which didn't really teach me much of anything real. I met friends, Americans, whose families hunted deer for fun and meat. I decided hunters weren't all evil (but maybe a little backwards).

What changed this year was my introduction to a world I'd never really entered before: rural life. My boyfriend's family has lived on the same piece of land for 120 years or so, and they were mostly farmers. They've let the farm lapse now, but not the way of life; they grow most of their own vegetables, make maple syrup in the spring. They chop and split the firewood to heat the house all winter, and it comes from the woods behind their house. The traditions are carried from one generation to the next, traditions that include hunting.

For the length of our relationship I've known that his family had guns. I wasn't surprised by it, except maybe a little when I first heard, but then I heard the stories from hunting season. Phil's dad is a good shot, and bags a deer most every year which they then butcher and put in the freezer to eat, beside last summer's chickens. I even ate some at dinner and earned some respect, I hope, when I declared venison to be delicious, which it was. At least I was eating as "free-range" meat as you could get. This deer had a long, happy life munching grass and running around before it made it to my dinner plate. And this hunter's care was obvious: he's a good shot, not to brag, but to limit the suffering of the animal.

Guns, and the registry seem to come up a lot when I meet Phil's family members. There's the city-living uncle whose brother was killed senselessly by an angry farmer with a shotgun. There are the farmers who have grandpa's gun sitting in the attic, and use them regularly. No matter who I'm talking to, they all oppose the registry. "It's too expensive" some say. Others point out that while it's only registration now, later it could be regulation, limits on guns, and while they are dangerous objects, they're also heirlooms and part of their livelihood. Once they're registered, they lose sole ownership over that part of their family's history.

I always assumed that registration made perfect sense. At least the authorities know who has a gun when they show up, right? Well, to a certain extent. There are all of those illegal firearms in our country, killing people in urban areas. Besides, the police favour it, and the police know more about guns than I do. But I do see that slippery slope feared by gun-owners:

First comes registration then comes... regulation? Limits? Outlawing guns altogether?

I don't favour those final steps. Registration, yes, imposing some limits, perhaps. But taking away these pieces of history? Not really.

It's all fine for me to say these things, but until yesterday, I was far removed from it. I'd never seen a gun used to kill anything. I'd seen them fired in parades, or in the movies, but not in real life. I'm not going to go into much detail on this one, because I'm still working it over in my head, and this post is long enough already. I'll keep it short. Coyotes showed up on the hillside, and a young one was on the hill beside the house frolicking. There is no other way to describe it, and in fact, it was pretty adorable. But we soon realized it was a coyote, and when they grow up, they are not so cute (they killed that songwriter in Cape Breton last year!). As I mentioned, this hunter is a good shot, and the animal was dead in seconds, shot right in the heart. When we looked at the body, it was still warm.

We left it for the birds to eat, and packed up back to the city. Phil asked me if I was traumatized by the event, which I don't really think I was. In fact, the most traumatizing part for me was that I was so untraumatized. Me, the Bambi-loving city girl who was afraid of guns saw the logic and necessity of what had just occurred. And I've gained respect his father, not lost it.

I guess I mean to come to a kind of conclusion here, but I don't think it will be very neat. I think this debate is divided along city-rural lines, and I think as Canadians, we forget about the other half (must less balanced than half, actually) much of the time. We dial out and don't listen to the side the other presents, or if we do, we dismiss it with our handy stereotypes and the grumblings of disillusioned farmers who need to get with the times, or the condescending speechifying of men in suits who've lost touch with the land they exploit. This divide must be examined, must be bridged, if we are going to find unity on this issue. And that is much further away than this week's vote.

End of the Week, Beginning of the Year

2010-09-11T20:22:00.004-04:00

Phil reading on the beach

Playing beach rugby 7s

Frosh week, every year, is brutal. This year we started with a hurricane (and I was up to 3:30am doing frosh stuff the day before the frosh even arrived!) and a whole lot of enthusiasm to make up for it. There was carnival, scavenger hunts, pie-ings, laser tag, sherry, casino night, dancing, dancing, drinking, and dancing. The drinking is what I do to get through it. The campus is a party all the time and no one thinks about their 10 am class when there's retro dance partying to be done on a Wednesday night. We just dance some more.

Well today it draws to an end with the culmination of dancing and drinking, the frosh leader party. I will say only that last year I did a keg stand, drank mystery punch, and lasted about 2 hours, tops, but I have no real way of knowing. I'm looking forward to it.

And then I guess the real fun begins. Classes seem strangely unappealing. So far, I avoid readings by avoiding buying the books. Good strategy, no? I don't think that will get me very far.

Update!

2010-08-18T22:05:00.002-04:00

So, I'm in London, Ontario, visiting some family, and seeing a show in Stratford tomorrow night. (The Tempest! With Christopher! Plummer! Yeeeeeeah).

I am feeling totally freaked and overwhelmed by how quickly my summer is wrapping up. I leave for the Maritimes one week from tomorrow. ONE WEEK. Do you know how many things I have to squeeze in? I barely even realize. I try not to think about it, lest I begin hyperventilating.

The worst part is there are so many people that I want to spend time with, lots of time, more time than I have. And I have to pack. And packing makes me want to freak out, which comes out as punching friends and family in the face (emotionally). I am the worst.

Somewhere on the other side, circa September 2 evening, when I am moved in and there and with my Halifax friends, everything will be OK, and I will breathe deeply. Until then, my eye has started to twitch.

I'd like to join her

2010-08-05T11:00:00.000-04:00

Following an altercation with a disapproving woman, a British tourist in the United Arab Emirates (which does have "modesty" *ahemoppressionofwomenahem* laws) stripped down to her bikini at a mall and wandered around. She was briefly detained, had a complaint lodged against her, and left.

Every time I hear about restrictive laws in countries like UAE and Saudi Arabia, it makes me want to buy a plane ticket, head to a main street, strip naked and run down the street screaming "You can't make me, you misogynistic turds!"

When I tell people this, they remind me I could be stoned. So could the women there, I remind them, and for less.

Licensed to Drive

2010-08-04T14:43:00.002-04:00

the drive, originally uploaded by .faramarz.

After some delay and consternation (so, I got lost on my way to my original G2 test and missed it and had to reschedule for a month later... it happens), I went this morning at the crack of 8:20 for my test. And I passed! With flying colours, I might add. She only ticked one box on my whole test. You can round that up to 100%, right? Excellent.

I'm looking forward to putting my license to good use when I hit the road with Phil later this month!

Rugby Love

2010-07-30T00:47:00.006-04:00

My spectacular rugby bruise one day and two days old. Hot right? I'm so proud of this thing, I show it off at practice.

Team Member

2010-07-28T12:00:00.001-04:00

Women's Rugby, originally uploaded by kategottli.

I have joined a rugby team!

I am not a natural born exercise freak. I do not run. I never think "OK, I have an hour, I'll just go out for a bit and run." I spend much more time avoiding running. I once "went for a run" with a boyfriend. It ended up being an hour of me bitching at him about how much I hated it. My insides burned, my side hurted, my lungs wheezed. No thanks. And that thing, whatever it is, that allows someone to get up and run and not stop for extended periods of time, I don't have it. I have 30 seconds before that burning feeling makes me slow.

But, I know exercise is good for me, and I know that a commitment to a team has lit the fire under my ass before. So when some friends from university joined a summer club team with some friends from high school (small world, eh Canada?), I gave myself a push and showed up to practice. It just so happened my first practice was also a team bonding/goal setting meeting. Warm and fuzzy times? I couldn't just slip away after that.

It's been about a month now, of practices twice a week after long, of tiring days, of cold packs on shoulders and hips and head, of re-learning how to tackle, ruck, and hold the ball, and of laughter and new friendships, as well as renewal of old ones. It's been a lot of fun.

It's also been super frusterating. I am a self-psycher-outer (real thing? I think so). When I do it wrong, I feel my face turn red and I want to run away. Last night I forgot my mouthguard somewhere, and fought back angry tears as I stood watching drills, mentally kicking myself. On Saturday, in my second game, I missed a tackle and the girl scored. I miscalculated and they scored again. I want to be one of those fast, mean, hard-hitting girls on the field, who know what they're doing and run right through the competition. Even more I just want to successfully tackle someone. It's frustrating, and I know I should use it to hit harder next time, to run faster and push further, but often I just end up feeling more hesitant than before.

But even in those moments of pain, even when I get it wrong and so completely wrong everyone knows, even when my teammates pull me aside to remind me "run straight" "aim low" "get OUT of the way of the fly half" I know they are supporting me. If I could feel safe going hard and failing hard, it should be there, where I know my teammates will pick me back up and high five me. Even after I missed tackles and made mistakes this Saturday, my whole team cheered me on after the game, celebrating my first try (touchdown, basically) that had come earlier in the game. I was happy and they knew I was. I knew I needed to work on things, and I know they knew too. Hopefully they also know I will bust my butt to get it right next time.

Blink

2010-07-22T14:00:00.000-04:00

Where did my week go? Seriously, where? It's already been 6 days since my last post. ACK. What is this? Come on, me, get it together.

I've been feeling totally exhausted all week. Last night was my first full night of sleep in many days, which felt so good. Wednesday was a very low point. Super sleepy and coming up on 24 hours of headache, my boss sent me home early. I spent the night lying in bed, watching bad TV, until the thunderstorm started (with ridiculous amounts of lightning! Did anyone see all the lightning?). Thunder makes me uncomfortable, so I called up Phil and sat on the porch, watching the storm roll through and feeling my nerves settle as we chatted. My sister came and sat with me. After it had mostly passed, we went to bed.

I had the headache of doom as the result of an elbow to the head at rugby practice. I came home on Tuesday and immediately applied ice packs, moving them in rotation from sore hip to shoulders to head. Hopefully I will kill it tonight!

Here is a video a friend sent along to me this week when I told her I was feeling down. As she predicted, I did get a good chuckle out of it. She and another friend from school are coming to visit, and I am very excited for a crew-union (that's a good play on the word reunion, right?).

I (heart) Typewriters

2010-07-16T10:00:00.004-04:00

I think typewriters are so neat. Dismiss me as a tragic hipster, but I have loved them since I was a kid. I don't know why - it probably related to my love of words. And my love of old things. And my hipster tendancies too, perhaps.

Now, typerwriters are extra attractive because it's writing without a computer. Why is this good? No internet. No distractions, no YouTube, no Twitter, no Facebook. Sure, I could close the internet, but that doesn't last very long on papers, and is worse when I'm trying to be creative. I want one.

In fact, I think I have one. It's got a neat leather case and I bought it at a garage sale but, alas... no ink strip. I don't know where to get one, or how to install it. Or, for that matter, where the typewriter is.

Are there any typewriter enthusiasts out there who can help me out?

Photo: noobits on flickr

July Doldrums

2010-07-15T11:00:00.001-04:00

Hey readers, sorry I've been so lame lately. I've been putting more effort into Hey Good Lookin', since it's a baby and needs more attention. Unfortunately, In A Jar became the cranky toddler.

Nothing super exciting has been happenning to me. I've been riding one of those lows lately. One of those, hate my body, hate my passions, hate my voice (literal and more figurative voice), and just generally wanting to crawl out of my skin and into someone else's. It's all cyclical, I think; I go through high points and low points, monthly, yearly, whatever. Blah. Anyway, the cycle will go up again, but until then, I just want to see friends and remind myself that the world is good, great even. Hey world: I'm open. Let's have fun things happen, k?

I'm also feeling politics-jaded. Not only did the city council vote yes on the awful Lansdown plan (urban voted no, rural yes; most of the time on the discussion was devoted to accomodating the developpers... I'm going to stop before I start fuming), BUT ALSO the government has made the long-form census optional, taking the legs out of any data it gathers. As Jeffrey Simpson wrote in his column the other day:

"When it comes to a tiny minority of citizens being required to fill out the long
census form, the Conservatives say this requirement invades privacy and should
be abolished, another example of ideology trumping good policy."

I just feel like the people who are supposed to be working for me are ruining my country and my neighbourhood.

Sorry for the downer, team. Write me about nice things in the comments, if you'd like. Or tell me what you think of this census shenanigans. Or write a haiku! (Delightful haikus over at my friend Saf's blog).

Photo: via imagespark

Hey Good Lookin' blog

2010-07-08T13:23:00.003-04:00

OK, it's been a couple weeks... I guess it's time for my new blog to be introduced for real.

I have recently started writing a fashion blog called Hey Good Lookin'. Some of the astute among you may have already found the link I stashed in the sidebar when I started it. I'm having a lot of fun with it, and it's even making me more excited about this blog, now that I feel like each have a focus, and two different interests of mine have their own spaces.

If you have any questions or comments about the new blog (or this old one!) you can email me at inajarblog [at] gmail [dot] com.

"Springbreak of the Blogosphere"

2010-07-08T12:12:00.005-04:00

Blog Out Loud Ottawa was, once again, a big success! There was laughter, awws, beer, and even a bra flash (quickly to become BOLO legend, yes?). I loved seeing and meeting lots of fun people and I've picked up a couple blogs I will definitely start following!

I'm hoping to snag some pics once various people upload them (for example, the super talented Milan), but in the mean time, you will have to use your imaginations.

The room was packed with bloggers, mostly ladies. Can I just say that everyone was dressed fabulously? Seriously. We Ottawa bloggers are an attractive bunch, just sayin. I especially liked Megan and Jennifer as pseudo-twins in cute black and white print summer dresses. Fave dress of the night goes to Nadine.

I hope my reading went OK - I was in the last chunk and by the time I got up on stage, my nervousness and the beer I'd ingested took over. (Last year, I was not old enough to drink beer at the event... strange thought. The beer was great). I got some laughs, which I will take as a positive, and my dress didn't fall down, something I was mildly worried about. Let's call it a win, shall we?

Oh, and I double-checked the story I told last night about Evelyn Waugh** - it's true! Wiki it yourself if you don't believe me. And no, I didn't go insert it in there this morning to make it true.

If you want, you can go back and read the post I read. I am a bus creeper, it's true.

Milan posted about his fave reads, and I agree with them all; check 'em out here.

* The title is from a comment Maven made on the BOLO site. I liked it.
** Evelyn Waugh's wife's name was also Evelyn (Ee-vuh-lin). To tell them apart, their friends called them "She-Evelyn" and "He-Evelyn". Cute, right?

"Who needs toast?"

2010-07-08T12:06:00.002-04:00

From Tuesday's Globe and Mail - in the Daily Miscellany column.

"In Seed magazine, reviewer Eric Michael Johnson writes: “For the husband and wife team Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha in their new book Sex At Dawn … there is little doubt that human beings are an exceedingly sexual species. As an example they detail how in 1902 the first home-use vibrator was patented and approved for domestic use in the United States. Fifteen years later, there were more vibrators than toasters in American homes.” "

Those turn of the century ladies had it right. Vibrators > Toaster. Really, which one make mom happier? Easy choice, isn't it...

Mariposa turns 50

2010-07-06T22:05:00.000-04:00

The Mariposa Music Festival of Orillia is celebrating 50 years by putting its archives online! All sorts of amazing people have stopped by the folk festival, Bob Dylan to Raffi (as he was starting out). Also? My dad and his band. He performed there in 1970, and the archives include pictures of him at a workshop that year! These are fantastic. They capture the time and my dad looks so cool.

He's the one with the banjo and the mutton chops.

BOLO Wednesday

2010-07-05T20:26:00.005-04:00

I will be reading at BOLO on Wednesday*! Come on down to Irene's pub at 7 pm and stick around - I'm near the end. I'm excited to meet any and all of you.

Check out the website to see the lineup (or to read the super nice things Lynn wrote about me - thanks!)

*not friday as I previously tricked Elizabeth of And Go into thinking. Sorry!

Weekend of Awesome

2010-07-04T20:41:00.002-04:00

YOU GUYS! I just had the best weekend ever. Phil showed up from New Brunswick and surprised me. When he knocked on the door and I opened it, he was holding a red gerber daisy... he'd sent me eleven on our anniversary the week before. Cute, right? I almost fainted.

He's been in cahoots with my family and my friends to surprise me! I feel so lucky and blessed to have such amazing people in my life who want to make me feel special.

For Canada Day we went and saw the queen on the Hill - actually saw her! And then Phil joined in my plans with my friends and I to go and see Dessa Darling at Montreal Jazz Fest, which was amazing. (Video of her singing Hallelujah here).

Friday we shopped up Montreal and spent Saturday and Sunday relaxing, holding hands and looking goofily at each other. Now he's gone back home, but this time the separation is shorter. Only five weeks until he's back in Ottawa and we embark on an exciting adventure for us: dating and living in the same city. I am so much looking forward to that.

I had pictures to go with this post, but the uploader isn't working... Boo.

Blog Out Loud Ottawa

2010-06-29T22:31:00.002-04:00

So as I did last year, I will be participating in Blog Out Loud Ottawa again this summer! I am super stoked, because it was really fun last year and I'm glad to do it again this year.

The event is July 7th at Irene's in the Glebe, (check out the website for more info). Come on out Ottawa bloggers! Even if you don't read, it's fun to meet everyone. Come out and say hi! And give me encouraging looks. Because even though I read last year and it was fine, I still wonder how it will go...

But seriously, go. The lineup this year is AWESOME. I am looking forward to it.

Also, I will be on Ottawa U radio CHUO (89.1 FM in Ottawa) being interviewed about BOLO with fellow blogger Elizabeth Cooke. I just read her blog, and I'm glad I did. Go and read it. If you like the Twitter, she is a prolific Tweeter with many followers. My Twittering pales in comparison to hers. Lynn from Turtlehead blog, BOLO organiser, will also be on the line tomorrow. So tune in at 5:20!

Earthquake Response

2010-06-24T09:32:00.005-04:00

My first instinct when my building began to shake and bounce was to dive into a doorway. My second was to turn to Twitter.

First Kady O'Malley was posting about feeling it. Then a couple friends. Then the jokes started. The rumours and info and one-liners started flying across the Twitterverse, grabbing my attention. I felt instantly connected to everything going on, which I loved, as I passed on tweets and read down the stream.

I did not have access to a TV, so I don't know what that response was like, but CTV's twitter account was excellent. Their website crashed, apparently, but they did a good job of collecting information and passing it on.

CBC radio kept playing Writers and Company, as if anyone in most of Ontario cared about writers or their company after feeling the earth shaking. CBC online posted its story a whole hour later.

The Globe and Mail's response was good as well. They tweeted that they were evacuating their Ottawa building, and soon had a livechat set up on their website, gathering and sharing information. From there, I saw that people as far as Detroit said they'd felt it.

From my experience yesterday, you can't really beat Twitter for instantaneous response. I think media outlets should keep that in mind, and make sure they put enough effort into their Twitter accounts.

Zoom wrote about this topic today as well. The Globe and Mail tech blog posted this about Twitter and earthquakes.

PS: Favourite jokes of the day include anything about fake lake tsunami warnings, declarations that "Quebec is finally separating!" (topical, since today is St Jean Baptiste Day), and Industry Minister Tony Clement's post: "I blame #bieber #earthquake". I liked his trending topic convergence.

Reasons why I'm tired right now

2010-06-23T22:13:00.002-04:00

1. I don't seem to be able to get to bed before 12:30. I try, but I always fail.

2. Staring at a computer screen all days puts me to sleep. Ditto the air conditioning.

3. I joined a rugby team!

4. I just spent hours shopping. My sister and my mom are champs.

I think I will sleep very soon. And stretch first, in the hopes that I will be able to use the muscles in my thighs tomorrow for practice. No promises.

Cool Lady

2010-06-21T17:25:00.005-04:00

Right now I'm reading Kelly Cutrone's book If You Have To Cry, Go Outside and other lessons your mother never taught you. Cutrone is a major publicist in the fashion world, owner of the company People's Revolution. She's currently famous for her role on the MTV shows The Hills and The City.

I love Kelly Cutrone, most of all because she knows her shit and she takes no prisoners. She is ballsy, she takes control, she does all those things that are traditionally "masculin" and she does them unapologetically. I find that when I take on those traits, I find myself compensating by being sweeter, or being diminutive in other ways. Kelly will take none of that.

That's not to say she is completely masculin. She's excellent at challenging the feminin; she calls herself Mama Wolf of her tribe. She looks out for the people who work for her, especially the girls, who she wants to help navigate a world that's crazy and has ridiculous expectations. Though she works in fashion, she wears black head to toe every day and forgoes makeup, as a rule.

Her office and home are different parts of the same space, allowing her to take care of her seven-year-old daughter and her company. Where women are so often forced to choose, she chose to say "screw that" and do it her own way. And she did it alone. She loves being a single mom, and doesn't need a man to be a complete person.

She is a seriously cool chick. I love her guts and her spirit. I love how she embraces feminism and knows she's cool for it. And she is.

CBC Themes

2010-06-18T15:31:00.003-04:00

In my Reporting Techniques class this semester, one of my favourite teachers, the radio teachers, taught us about radio newscasts. His amazing, deep, classic radio voice lends anythign he says a certian gravitas, and I love listening to him recount stories and explain the ins and outs of radio in his affected tones. He taught us that the theme jingle that plays each hour before the newscast plays an important role. The sound is meant to invoke a Pavlovian-like response. Doug explains it: "They go 'HEY! DEAR! SHUDDUP! No, no, shh, the news is on, quiet.' Then they turn the radio up". *

The CBC themes and voices are very sentimental, nostalgia-inducing things for me. The As It Happens theme (and voices of Barbara Budd et al, natch) makes me think of driving home from dinner parties with my parents, half asleep in the back. The old Quirks and Quarks theme makes me think of Saturday afternoons, driving home from gynastics/horseback riding/dance class. It has such a feeling for me, I was very sad to learn of the new theme when it came in.

When I moved to Nova Scotia for school, one of the things I had to get used to was the different shows and voices. Instead of being from Ottawa, the voice between shows said "you're listening to CBC radio one, 90 point five in Sheet Harbour". That, and there was way more country, folk, and even celtic music, AND there were CO-HOSTS on the morning show**! I liked the Sunday afternoon shows because they made me feel at home, the same across the country.

Even with the weird newness, I listen to a lot of CBC in Halifax, and it's my primary source of news. I leave it on pretty much all day. I didn't realize how much affection I was starting to feel for those characters a CBC Nova Scotia until today when, on a whim, I turned the internet CBC tuner to Mainstreet, the drive-home show in Halifax. When the news ended and the theme played and Stephanie Domet's voice came through, announcing the stories for the hour, I felt a happy warm feeling. She then announced a folky celtic style song. Of course. Oh CBC Nova Scotia. I guess I miss you more than I thought!

*Word for word what I wrote in my notebook.

**True story. Also, the Saturday morning show is co-hosted by a horse.

Citizenship and Immigration

2010-06-17T12:40:00.003-04:00

Margaret Wente's column today brings up an interesting question about citizenship and immigration. In Canada, our society is based on a set of values where individuals have control and freedom (with certain restrictions, such as prohibitions on murder and theft) and men and women are considered equal. I don't personally know many Canadians who would disagree with this. I assumed naively when I was younger, that people who come to Canada know this and are looking for this kind of society in which to start a new life. This is what we are taught in school, by teachers, and by parents.

Some call Canada a "melting pot", others a "fruit cake" (for the consistency more than the connotations, I think) but even in our diversity as Canadians, isn't it important that we hold some general, basic values in common?

Lansdowne Meeting Tonight

2010-06-17T12:21:00.003-04:00

Tonight at 7:30 at Lansdowne, the Friends of Lansdowne are holding a meeting to look at the plans for the redevelopement of Lansdown Park. This is a very important issue. I do not live in the Glebe, but I live near there, in Old Ottawa South. It's about a fifteen minute walk from my house to the edge of Lansdowne. My street and streets all over my neighbourhood are slated for use as parking areas for this new development. Sunnyside ave in my area would be used as a main route to get to the new development - nevermind that it's already operating at 100% capacity, according to the city.

The city simply has not thought through the chaos that this development, including 350, 000 square feet of retail space, the large new stadium with far less parking, and a twelve story hotel, will bring. There is no rapid transit to the area. There is nowhere near enough parking. Bank street is already in effect a two-lane road because the parking is used all the time.

I urge anyone interested or affected (residents of the Glebe, Old Ottawa South and East, etc) to come out tonight to the meeting, or to go to http://www.letsgetitright.ca/ and send a message to city councillors. While I agree that Lansdowne needs a new plan and needs to change, this is not the answer.

Tonight there will be lots of great speakers discussing the plan, including Ian Lee, Director of the MBA Program at Sprott School of Business at Carleton University. You can see what he's previously said about the Lansdowne Live proposal in this video.

And People Think We Don't Need Feminists Anymore: Aqsa Parvez's Murder

2010-06-16T16:08:00.008-04:00

I find it disturbing when people tell me (and this happens on a regular basis) that the world doesn't really need feminists anymore.

16-year-old Aqsa Parvez was killed by her brother and father in what the media love to call an "honour killing".

I don't like that term. I find that that label allows people to file it away as a problem that doesn't relate to our western society, not really. It allows people to think it's the problem of other countries and cultures. But this happened in Canada.

What I find most disturing is some of the comments quoted from the brother. He said that were Aqsa his daughter, he wouldn't have killed her. He would have broken her legs, a more reasonable option to him.

Aqsa's father said he killed her because he would be disgraced for not controling his own daughter. As if she were his to control. An object.

This did not happen in a far away country (not that that matters). This happened here. It is heartbreaking. It is disgusting.

The world still needs feminists.

UPDATE: On Ontario Today, Rita Celli had an interesting chat with Shahina Siddiqui with the Islamic Social Services Association. She also took issue with the term "honour killing", and made the important point that murder is not part of religion. "Abusers will use any excuse," she said. She suggested that mental health issues could be at play with this highly controling man. This is another important issue - "honour killing" makes people think it's part of his religion, whereas with Christians who commit violent acts in the name of their religion, they're sick in the head. It's all about a lack of understanding, I think.

Many quotes and info from this Globe and Mail story, among other news stories I've read while following this.

Grammar Rant

2010-06-14T15:47:00.004-04:00

Yes, it's true; I think grammar is very important. Grammar is the rule set of the language game, which is my game. So I learn the rules. Sure you can bend them, but as they say, you have to learn the rules to break them.

Now, I know that not everyone has the same disturbing, finger-nails-on-a-chalkboard-like reaction every time someone says "less" when they mean "fewer" (it's so bad I usually have to correct them, even under my breath, to feel better), and there are those things we all struggle with (who and whom takes years to master)...

And I know that typos happen all the time in the land of the intertubes. I myself am guilty of these, they pepper my blog even as I try to avoid them (more concerted effort in future, I promise)...

BUT honestly, people, "its" and "it's"? Kids stuff. Definitely a primary level grammar course. And it drives me nuts when people don't even try*, especially when these people have large audiences listening to them. Grammar is important! It's about communication, about being heard. A forgotten or misplaced comma can change the meaning of your sentence completely. And the wrong homonym makes you look silly. Come on. Make an effort.

*I don't think that the Design*Sponge people (or person who edits everything, I'd guess, since all posts are guilty) has any idea there are two different forms of "it's/its", let alone how to use them. I have pointed it out several time, politely, but nothing has changed. I may have to stop reading. It's that frustrating.

Bloggers on T-shirts!

2010-06-12T16:23:00.006-04:00

My, my blogging really is big business! Forever 21 with Danny Robberts put out a capsule collection of T-shirts with fashion bloggers on them. They're so cute, I will definitely try to pick up the Pandora T-shirt. I went over to her blog and it's very cute.

Photos: here

Driving Lessons

2010-06-10T20:10:00.008-04:00

Learning to drive is a lot of work. I underestimated that when I signed up for both Driver’s Ed and an online course. I’ve made the decision to put my course on the back burner while I finish up my driver’s ed program.

This week is crunch week. From last Sunday to this coming Monday, I will have racked up 11 hours of driver’s ed, in-car and in-class lessons. And that doesn’t include time spent practice driving (parallel parking isn’t as scary as it seemed!) as well as on the online component now mandated by the Ontario Government. That’s right, in addition to 20 hours in a classroom and 10 hours in a car, students are also required to do 10 hours* of online training as well. I haven’t even started. Pretty soon, things will get harder with the minimum waiting period between G1 (learner’s permit) and G2 going up to 18 months in Ontario, less with driver’s ed, though I don’t know what the difference will be.

I’ve had my G1 for three years already (WOW time flies), so I don’t need to complete Driver’s Ed before taking a G2 road test, but it will get me a break on insurance costs. I’ll try to wrap up the online next week and practice, practice, practice in preparation for my test, scheduled for July 7^th. I really hope I pass – just me and the open road! Brilliant.

*approximately 10 hours. In reality, the online part takes between 6 and 10 hours.

Photo: from a trip to Vancouver last year.

Business Cards

2010-06-09T17:29:00.003-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, I went to an event where I met a lot of high-profile national journalists, people I read and listen to and admire. It was a great experience, something I'll write about later, but they did that thing that you do when you're a grown-up and you meet someone new: they exchanged business cards.

I need to get me some business cards. Something simple, just my name, my email, and a phone number, something I can give to people I meet, socially or professionally. As much as it's about how good you are, it's also about who you know, it's the way it works. It's an easy way to make connections.

I don't yet have a design in mind... in fact, my design skills are not stellar. If I had my way, I'd make them by hand with watercolour paper and my paints and pens, sort of like the ones above. This process does not, however, lead to effective mass production.

Photos: 1 2 3

Night at Irene's

2010-06-06T21:42:00.003-04:00

After a full day spent inside, I ventured out to Irene's for beers and music. Good night!

Creepy, ominous sky that never came through with a storm.

Even with a broken clavicle, Milan took some great pictures!

The Avenues (of Peterborough) played a fun set. Plus, Stella and her Guinness.

Letters

2010-06-06T20:36:00.003-04:00

I love snail mail so much! There's something very satisfying about holding the words in your hands. I guess I'm somewhat of a tactile creature.

Last summer, Phil and I wrote letters back and forth. The letters were about random things; our days, dreams, some sweet words. They were slow, as we waited for Canada Post to pass our envelopes across two provinces, wrote a response, and sent it back.

For the past couple of weeks, Phil has sent me a letter every single day. I get two every second day, usually two consecutive days, but not always (thank Canada Post). There have been a couple cards, most short, some just a few words. But he's sent one every day.

Apparently, I'm to expect a culmination of all of this.

I've also started snail mailing with a friend in BC. I am thrilled to be collecting pen pals; if anyone else wants a pen pal (even someone in Ottawa... I do live in Halifax 8 months of the year!), let me know. If you write me, I write back!

Pictures for "Rainy Day"

2010-06-06T15:15:00.003-04:00

For some reason my computer wouldn't upload the pictures properly for my post the other day... here are the pictures who go with it.

Scenes from the Great Glebe Garage Sale:

My fantastic vintage dress find:

Saf! On our bike ride down the canal.

Bus People

2010-06-04T13:32:00.002-04:00

When I was a kid, I walked to school and my parents had a car to drive me to gymnastics and dance on the weekend. I didn’t start taking the bus until I was in high school, and even then, only in grade 10. It was a revelation. With two little coloured tickets, I could go anywhere I wanted to, and be totally free, until I had to be home for dinner. And my parents were handing them out to me. They were giving me freedom.

The thing I love most about the bus these days, now that I (mostly) live away from my parents and bus surfing has become old hat, is the people watching. I see so many cool people on the bus. I especially love taking the late afternoon bus, and seeing all the different kinds of people.

I love the woman I encounter most days who gets on the bus in the Glebe, always wearing a skirt suit, with her baby in a carrier on her front. She wears her suit jacket over the carrier, so she looks perfectly office ready, with a literal baby bump out the front. She spends the whole bus ride with one hand on him, with a beautiful light in her eyes.

There’s a guy who I notice on the bus from time to time, less for his snappy dressing (so classic, refined, and masculine… but he looks my age. Props.) than for his confident attitude. He breezes on and off the bus, in his own world, unconcerned by anyone else on the bus. I always wonder where he’s going.

The other day I saw an androgynous girl with a funky short haircut and fantastic sneakers. She had an iPod tucked into her back pocket and held a copy of Lewis Carrol’s Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. She carried it the way some girls carry clutch purses – books as accessories! Fabulous. Especially since so many books have a lot of aesthetic value, whether they’re trendy new paperbacks, or yellowed and old, with a worn cover (can you tell I love paperbacks?). I wanted to take her picture, and kicked myself for being without my camera.

I find buses to be extremely inspiring places. I always see someone I want to capture, as an image or a story. I mostly imagine where I think they are going, why they’re going there, and most importantly, where they’re coming from, gathering any clues I can from their body language. I would love to spend hours sitting on a busy bus, listening to intriguing riders tell me their stories.

Rainy Day

2010-06-03T20:24:00.004-04:00

A dark grey sky always makes me grumpy and cranky, craving fluffy pillows and cozy sweatpants. Even while working in an office all day, I feel that greyness of the day oozing into my head. It’s like my neurons have been replaced with cotton balls. Not fun.

After a jam-packed weekend that left me friend-high and downtime-low right up until Sunday night, I have been mostly hibernating for a couple of days. I’ve had to force myself, basically – seeing people and going out into the world is my favourite thing to do, even when my body is telling me it would rather sleep.

Seriously though, it was a great weekend. It involved friends from out of town, watching the half-marathon in Ottawa Race Weekend, the Great Glebe Garage Sale, and The Neon Bible Project. And more friends. Plus Bubble Tea.

Here is me with my #1 find at the GGGS – a vintage, hand-beaded beauty of a dress that fits like it was made for me. I ducked into a stranger’s backyard to try it on, and though it was not exactly usual Garage Sale fare, I couldn’t resist for $20. Amazing right?

Tuesday News

2010-06-01T15:58:00.002-04:00

Today’s exciting news is… my second year of university is paid off! Oooh, that feels good. My parents and I work to pay it together, and my last contribution put us in the black for 09-10!

And… fall fees are due in only 3 ½ months.

Today on the internet:

This high school principal deserves a medal for dealing with this Prom vs. G20 meetings fiasco.

Though I love Being Erica, CBC TV is not where I look for my quality entertainment most of the time. I think I’m with John Doyle from the Globe and Mail – wouldn’t it be great if a public broadcaster took some risks?

Halifax is a pretty stylin’ place (if you think I’m being sarcastic, you should go visit) with a great biking community. I think me and my new bike will fit right in.

Liveblog Lessons

2010-05-31T16:21:00.001-04:00

One of the reasons I enjoy Kady O’Malley’s liveblogging [www.cbc.ca/insidepolitics] is because I learn from it.

Beyond the fun filter through which she delivers the day-to-day events on the Hill, I get to see how it works on the Hill, kind of. I am a student, and though I’m from Ottawa and took class trips to see that Parliament buildings as well as the classic tests on basic Canadian parliamentary processes (a la “How Does A Bill Become A Law?”), I don’t really know how it works. O’Malley, through her observations, as well as her extensive knowledge of the basic and less-than-basic parliamentary processes, shows to any Canadian who wants, how things work, in a nuts and bolts way.

As an aspiring journalist, I also enjoy reading when her coverage interacts with journalists on the Hill, such as at press conferences, scrums, etc. Not only do I get to see which journalists I read ask what, but I also learn from following the kinds of questions asked, how interactions with MPs and ministers work, etc. It certainly doesn’t substitute hands-on (or on-Hill) experience, but I find it valuable nonetheless.

Quit Facebook Day

2010-05-31T14:56:00.004-04:00

Today is Quit Facebook Day, a day to encourage people to join the two Torontonians who started it to sever all Facebook ties. I wonder if anyone I know will drop off the face of the ‘book. Facebook has been getting a lot of flak about privacy controls, especially here in Canada, so the movement is topical. Milan recently removed any info from Facebook that he thought could be easily collected by bots (interesting idea, read it here).

I have three thoughts about this. One, I like Facebook. I like how easy it is to share and connect and organise. These are things that enrich my life, and Facebook is my chosen tool. Could I do this other ways? Probably. But this is the way I use.

Two, I know very little about what my privacy settings are right now, which probably means they’re low. And I should look into that. I know Facebook and its creator are not my buddy*, and I can’t trust them to have my best interests at heart, because they don’t. Only I do, and I need to be in charge of that.

Three, Facebook isn’t going anywhere, at least not yet. The next thing will inevitably come along, but for now, it’s a tool that anyone who works in anything communications-related needs to learn and use, along with Twitter and oh yeah, email.

Besides, isn’t quitting Facebook the new, cool, hipster thing to do, with new sites like Diaspora** popping up?

*Yikes, the Facebook story movie Social Media doesn’t exactly look complimentary to Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, does it? Aaron Sorkin-written, which means I will have to see it.
** "the privacy aware, personally controlled, do-it-all distributed open source social network."

Only Wednesday

2010-05-26T22:45:00.005-04:00

Long weekends are supposed to make the following week feel shorter, right? My week didn't get that memo.

Tomorrow I'm going to my formal event! My hair is sorted. I'll try to get a picture.

Things I'm thinking about:

1. Pay Meeee $75 to scout Facebook for you The Ottawa Sun reported that the Canadian government has hired people to hang out on Facebook for them to reply to what they're saying*. Funny, any of those social media are still blocked in my government workplace. Bad idea? I think so.

2. Canada Excellence Research Chairs So I love invigorating the research community in Canada, and I think "innovative" is something we should go for... but NO women at all in the Canada Excellence Research Chair Program? That I'm a little less jazzed about. You can tell me the usual stuff about women not wanting to uproot themselves to move for a new job, or a lack of female talent to choose from, but I will still give you a displeased look and say something to the effect of "Academia is a boys' club that they used to make this program come together quickly". I think this will come up again.

3. I disagree with Stephen Harper - Reason of the Day Stephen Harper, I don't care if my right to my own body isn't threatened, I don't like you opening up the abortion issue at all, especially not in a way that will help you with direct mail fundraising campaigns and galvanizing people who wish you would take away my right. I wish more people were more pissed off about this. Thank you Bono, I know partisanship shouldn't get in the way of actually helping people, and that's not what I want either. I want my government to help the most women it can. Can't that be the point? (As usual, I disagree with Margaret Wente)

*In fact, a group called "The Social Media Group".

Momma Seal

2010-05-26T22:31:00.006-04:00

So, this photographer goes to Antarctica to photograph this seal so big and scary that, quote "her head is twice the size of a grizzly bear's". He gets in the water with her, and she spends four days taking care of him. What a spectacular story, and his photos are amazing!

Time Waster

2010-05-26T20:09:00.002-04:00

I loved the totally rad Google salute to Pac-Man’s 30th on Friday. I indulged in a couple minutes of playing Google Pac-Man, and it looks like I wasn’t the only one! Apparently, people playing Google Pac-Man added up to 550 years of time wasted. It was a slow Friday – that’s my excuse. Also, you can still play Google Pac-Man here if (like me) you miss it a lot.*

*I can't beat normal Pac-Man. Not even close.

Hair-Do

2010-05-25T22:49:00.002-04:00

Over the past couple of years, my hair has been everything from cute pixie cut (so low-maintenance!) to choppy bob to its current style… medium-length. I’ve been growing it out for a while, and it’s nice for it to be so long, but I’ve just barely managed to figure out how to shampoo it effectively (a skill you can lose over years of short hair, apparently) and now I am facing a major challenge. A formal event.

I am not a “hair-doer”. Clean is the way I wear it day-to-day and day-to-night. If I feel so inclined, I use a banana clip to put it up. The end.

I need an easy, formal style for this event on Thursday. What will I do…

May 2-4

2010-05-25T22:46:00.003-04:00

What is better than a long weekend? Seriously? What could be better than a whole day of time to program yourself, do the things you need to do (groceries, yard chores, Driver Ed) and spend some time on real relaxation. I spent my relaxation time watching a whole lot of Sex and the City, seeing people I like, and sleeping. Mmm.

I checked out the new Museum of Nature on Saturday, as promised, during the free day. Milan and I went, and we took it all in. I don’t think we missed a single exhibit. We did, however, skip the historical/ghost tours since the line went forever, as Trevor at Apartment 613 put in his liveblog.

Since most of my excitement was related to my childhood love of the place, the visit was bittersweet. I miss the dark, winding dinosaur exhibit, a model they’ve abandoned in favour of the generic museum “big room, in and out same door” model. Although, I concede there were many cool things (the blue whale skeleton is exactly as neat as you'd think it would be) and I did love the “lantern”, the glass tower on the front. The view there is beautiful. I could have stayed there all evening, watching the sun set.

*****

I also spent a great deal of the weekend going for 24 hours at time “offline”; not checking Facebook, Google reader, Twitter… As a journalism student, I use all sorts of different "social media". I've never thought about the stress keeping up with those things puts on me. It felt like a break to just tell myself the emails can wait. Is this unhealthy? And am I the only person who feels this way? I certainly have what I call the “know-know-know” drive, the need to keep up-to-date with as many things as possible at once – it’s one of the reasons I like journalism. Should I work on "unplugging" more?

Rain Soaked

2010-05-22T15:58:00.002-04:00

I love those quick, hard storms that roll through in the late afternoon! I love going out to stand in them. When I was younger, my friends and I would put on bathing suits and run around. I guess I never shook the habit, because when I heard the rain start this afternoon, I ran outside and stood on my steps, getting completely soaked. It was fun to watch the sky lighten and the rain taper off. It smells so good, and the rain water tastes so good!

I am woefully behind the times

2010-05-20T21:34:00.003-04:00

I knew that a bank was firebombed in Ottawa. I just didn't realize it was MY bank, my branch.

There are some CRAZY people in the world.

*****

I am so looking forward to the reopening of the Museum of Nature! It was one of my favourite places to as a kid. The T-Rex would literally reduce me to tears (his HEAD was over WHERE YOU WALKED. I squeeze my eyes shut and clung to my mom as I shuffled under). I saw lots of Paperbag Theatre shows. I am famous in family lore for striding across the main lobby to the netherparts of the moose mosaic and said loudly: "Look! He has a real penis and everything!"

I will be going on Saturday to the free admission Museum At Night. Ghost tours, wine bars and Nature exhibits! What more could a girl want on a Saturday night?

*****

In blog news, Stella got her house - and promptly ripped up the floors, the first night. That girl gets shit done. I look forward to reading more about her renovations over at her reno blog.

Exhaustion Day

2010-05-20T18:38:00.002-04:00

Today is what happens when you start the week with an exhausting funeral.

I woke up this morning, rolled out of bed, and started my morning routine. I was standing in the mirror in the bathroom, putting on makeup, when I realized I was so exhausted, I was about to fall over. So, I went back to bed. And slept. All. Day.

Now I am groggy.

I have so many things to do this weekend, that I wonder how long my weekend will really feel! Well, over-packing my time is classic me.

Professional Crush: Kady O’Malley

2010-05-18T21:03:00.002-04:00

I got some good news the other day while chatting with an old friend.

“I’ve been getting more into following politics,” she told me, “ever since CBC got Kady O’Malley [http://www.cbc.ca/politics/insidepolitics/].”

Putting aside for now that I can’t believe I didn’t realize Kady O’Malley hadn’t disappeared from the blogging world when she left Macleans and her Inside the Queensway blog that I read religiously, I was very glad to hear this, on two accounts. First of all, I like her. She is smart and snarky and I enjoy that. I list her among my inspirations*, blogger -wise. Also, how cool would it be to have her job? Seriously.

Also, I think it’s a good idea for those who are in the news business to get all over this hip-happenin, new-fangled technologies (kids these days). Kady O’Malley does well with Twitter, blogging, and liveblogging. I was surprised to find no one liveblogging or livetweeting at Ottawa City Hall, since I remember it being all the rage for Larry O’Brian’s court case. Of course, most of those lacked the certain snarky* je ne said quoiof Ms. O’Malley.

Good work CBC; I’m excited to have Kady O’Malley back in my RSS reader. I’m a little embarrassed I didn’t notice her over at CBC, but I’m not a huge fan of CBC online, so not altogether surprising. Now if she had a radio show… Wait. Does she have a radio show I don’t know about?**

*I realize I have used snarky twice now, but it’s just such a good word. Also, I checked in the thesaurus: no synonyms. Probably because Snarky made fun of all the other words like it until they ran away or transferred to other meanings.

**A: Google says… no.

Crying hangover (and hangover hangover)

2010-05-18T12:31:00.001-04:00

You know that feeling in your eyes and the front of your cranium you get the morning after a lot of crying? You feel tired and heavy and sluggish? My eyes are all over that this morning. I’m even a bit hungover! Not something you’d expect after a memorial service, but somehow, I’m not surprised.

Last night was Michael’s memorial service, and it was beautiful. His favourite music was played, memories were shared, and everyone hummed and sang one of his favourite songs. Some of Michael’s friends got to say a few words, which made everyone cry, and laugh. The laughing was good.

His family really wanted a focus on Michael’s friends, as his dad said in his eulogy, because for a 19 year old, often you’re closer to your friends than your family. And did we ever turn out in force; all sorts of people reconnecting for the first time in a while. It would have been better if the reunion had a happier reason, but no one else could have brought us back together like that.

Throughout the service, I was very focused on Michael's dad. He tried very hard to stay upbeat, to celebrate Michael’s life, nodding his head along to the music and positively grinning as he encouraged Michael’s close friends, shooting them thumbs up after they spoke. He showed how much he appreciated it. It really got to me when I saw him jamming along to the end of a song, pulling on his blazer to stand for the eulogy. To say goodbye. I couldn’t even imagine the incredible pain he was in, but he smiled as he prepared himself. It was incredible. It was what Michael would have wanted. After he finished, he gave over to the sobs, but we all had our moments, and I think Michael would have understood that too.

The best part was the reception after the service. Almost all the friends and family gathered at their house, sharing food and drink and celebrating his life. There were lovely moments, of quiet music being played, and an army of candles planted in the back garden.

I got home at midnight, hours later than expected, but feeling full. Full of joy and sadness, love and companionship. I still can’t believe this really happened, that he’s really gone. I think that part will take a bit more time.

Mother's Day Coffeecake

2010-05-17T13:00:00.004-04:00

(picture from Jennifer at It Ain't Meat, Babe)

This weekend was Mother's Day, since my mom was away on Mother's Day. We did it up just like normal Mother's Day: picked up the requested items to make for dinner, invited close family friends to join us for the dinner, created a list of the chores we were do for my mom on Sunday, assembled gifts. This year we surprised her with a big ticket item she never would have bought for herself, but really wanted - a netbook! She was shocked and very excited. I also picked up an new iPhone case, since hers is falling apart, and stuck on a new screen protector, which she loved.

I started off the surprises early in the morning by making this cake that I found on Jennifer's vegan cooking blog, It Ain't Meat, Babe. It has cranberries in it, and we have a large surplus of cranberries in our fridge, so I dove right in.

I didn't make it vegan; I used cow's milk and milk yogurt instead of soy options. It wasn't until I was making it the morning of that I realized the yogurt in our fridge I thought was plain was vanilla! So instead of adding vanilla bean scrapings, as Jennifer's recipe called for, I used vanilla yogurt, and it turned out really well.

Just as I pulled the cake out of the oven, my mom came downstairs for the first time that morning, with a smile on her face. "I was in a deep sleep, in a dream, when I suddenly smelled this delicious baking - and it woke me up!" She's usually the one baking, and always the one baking early in the morning, so I think she enjoyed being spoiled. Even though I was worried about the vanilla yogurt substitution, everyone loved the cake. We wolfed down almost the whole thing immediately. I decided to make another one to use up more cranberries (seriously, we have loads) as a treat for the family to have in the mornings. Turns out our old beast of an oven got upset and burned it. It still tastes good, just a little crispy on the topping!

I will definitely be making this again - I think I'll try other ingredients, like blueberries when they're in season.

Michael

2010-05-11T22:11:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I found out that a friend from high school passed away this weekend. I'm not sure I even want to use that euphemism. It sounds so stiff, reserved for someone old and tired, in a whole life lived kind of way. Michael was full of energy and positive energy, quick with smiles and laughs and kind works. He was also full of life, life left to be lived.

He will be missed by everyone who knew him.

Goodbye, Michael. You lifted me up when I was down more than once, and I remember that. I don't know if you realized while you were doing it, but you did touch me.

My thoughts are also with Stella, who also found out a friend from high school passed away yesterday.

My New Job Doesn't Suck!

2010-05-04T16:10:00.001-04:00

Whew, it’s been a busy week already!

This week has been my first at my summer job. Mostly I’ve been filling out security forms and reading piles of things to try to understand where I work, exactly. One of the branches of the agency I work at has the same name as the agency itself. This causes confusion, for obvious reasons.

Things will slow down slightly around here after our “team-building day” on Thursday (all preparations for said day are TOP SECRET. I cannot confirm or deny if I spent half an hour today attaching foam stars to lanyards. Some people take this verrrry seriously). Hopefully at that point my boss and coworker will have time to go over my work plan and, you know, give me projects to do. The snippets of conversation I’ve had with them so far sound promising. I think I will get a fair bit of autonomy (as much as you can get working for a government agency), and I’ll be doing some fun story writing for the website.

A sort of side-project I have going on is working with my mom to teach her to blog and use Twitter. I’m not kidding. She works in communications at a doctors’ organisation, and runs a website and public forums, etc, and so she got her website a Twitter account. Which she doesn’t ever use. One day I suggested to her a couple ideas I had for her Twitter, and the next thing I know, I’m writing blog and Twitter strategies and sitting at a public forum, livetweeting about menopause. I don’t know if I’m going to get paid for this, but even if I don’t, it’s good experience, I guess. One of these nights I’m going to teach my mom to actually use Twitter. She has an iPhone, I feel like she should have just figured it out on her own by now…

At least so far this week I don’t hate my new job, Davis is home from Halifax and I’m seeing her tonight (we’re going to a bar! For drinks! And to watch improv! God, I love being 19) I have two other nights this week with firm plans to catch up with friends, and I remembered my work pass 2/2 days. Am I talented or what.

Also, send some positive thoughts Stella’s way as she tries to recover her voice for her show tonight. Good luck, Stella!

Picnic Season

2010-05-01T22:44:00.007-04:00

(pictures from Nina Barry www.ninabarry.com/blog)

It seems as though many blogger people had picnics on the brain today. I know that the rainy, cold weather made me want out even more. All I wanted was some sunshine, a bike ride, and now, maybe a picnic to go along with it! I know that if Phil here here visiting, I'd take him down to the park for a picnic, with some sandwiches, a thermos of tea... and maybe a flask of something stronger.

I almost-but-not-quite woke up on time to hit up the Jane's Walk for my neighbourhood and ended up stuck inside all day, once the rain and clouds moved in. I did go out to meet a couple friends for a beer briefly, and got free beer in the process. To the friendly man in the overalls who bought me a drink: thanks! I'm sorry we didn't get to chat for longer.

I hope you're all enjoying your weekends, grey or not!

End of the Lazy Week

2010-04-30T11:06:00.005-04:00

My week-long vacation of lazy is, sadly, coming to an end.

I did pretty much nothing all week, which is why you haven't heard from me. I slept until 11 most days. I wore sweatpants. I watched bad TV (the top pic of the week: TLC's wedding dress show Say Yes To The Dress. Bad, I know. Worse: anything on MTV was a close second. Sometimes I even disgust myself). I didn't really see many people or go many places.

I did stop by my favourite neighbourhood consignment clothing store to pick up a few new things for work (and some for fun too!). Before leaving Nova Scotia and upon arriving, I cleared out some old things from my closet. It's still full to bursting, but that's a headache for another time.

My top find is a stunning, classic trenchcoat, the real deal. It makes me feel like Lauren Bacall. When I get my act together (and my camera battery cha

rged... where did I pack that charger?), I'll post a picture. For now, here's my cute new jean jacket! I've been eyeing them all spring, and I knew I'd find a good one either in my own closet, or at a consignment shop. My old one was a little lame, but this one is so cute! It's a Gap Kids XXL, which makes it cute and shrunken. Win.

Terminal Disease

2010-04-29T12:25:00.002-04:00

The students in the fourth year advanced Investigative Reporting class worked away for ages, in secrecy, hiding behind the Twitter hashtag #funkytown. They worked so hard, and here is the result, a story on Video Lottery Terminals and Gambling addiction in Nova Scotia. It was published in The Coast!

http://www.thecoast.ca/halifax/terminal-disease/Content?oid=1624452

Back in Ottawa

2010-04-26T13:55:00.003-04:00

After many hours of driving, I am back in Ottawa! (Beautiful bike in tow). It's nice weather, so I guess I can't complain, and I think I will take advantage of it by going out for an inaugural ride on my bike (which I've decided to name Flo). I also don't start work until next Monday, so this week will be my week of sleep sleep sleeping.

On a completely separate note, I have a question for you, Ottawa. In Halifax, I follow the goings on at city hall by following two Twitters that livetweet from the council meetings, one from a writer for the Metro Halifax and recent King's grad, and one by The Coast. The Chronicle Herald has also just jumped on the bandwagon with a dedicated Twitter account for council livetweeting.

Is there anything like this in Ottawa? I would love to keep on top of Ottawa City Hall as well.

Summer

2010-04-22T18:21:00.002-04:00

Well, I am all done my year. I finished and handed in my last assignment today (three days late, natch). It was fairly anticlimactic since I've been acting like I'm done ever since my last exam on Tuesday.

Yesterday I arrived at my friends' house, Davis and Sarah's, for laundry. They have free laundry and we combine loads and hang out to make laundry more fun. I arrived around 11, and we spent the rest of the day and night hanging out. I think we're all feeling the coming summer separation from our friends (many have left already) and are taking every chance we get to hang out.

We did laundry, we chatted, we laughed, we drank copious amounts of leftover wine from about 4 until 11pm. Sarah and I started out homework at midnight, slept at 3:30. We lay next to each other and whispered in bed, before grabbing precious few hours of sleep.

Luckily, I will see Sarah and Davis in Ottawa this summer, but our other friends live out of town. So do all three of our significant others. I predict many nights of wine and bitching on the couch. And bad TV.

I arrive home in Ottawa Sunday night! And I don't start work for a week after! I can't wait to sleep for a whole week straight! Especially can't wait right now. I'm so sleepy I'm jittery. Whee.

More from my trip to New Brunswick

2010-04-22T16:39:00.004-04:00

There is something about the air and the smell and the light in New Brunswick. And also the company, I guess.

Bike! Bike! Bike!

2010-04-14T16:41:00.005-04:00

I have the best boyfriend ever!

Phil has been working on restoring this bike for me since August, when it looked like this:

We came across it last summer while exploring an old outbuilding on his property. Apparently, I said something to the effect of "This is the coolest bike I've ever seen" and that's when Phil made up his mind to fix it for me. It was meant as a birthday gift (my birthday is in November) but that didn't work out.

Originally, this bike is from the late 1940s, and used to belong to Phil's aunt.

He gave it to me today, and I love, love, love it.

Best part is that Phil and my mom have been scheming, and my mom is borrowing a bike rack to bring it home with us to Ottawa when I leave next week. I'm so excited to cruise in style this summer!

PS: This reminds me of when Jennifer's Man of Science gave her a sexy bike.

New Job

2010-04-12T20:48:00.004-04:00

I heard back about my job interview for junior don - and I got a position! I'm excited. It means I'll be living in residence and helping run events and do fun things. For payment I get a bunch of money off my living fees, which is excellent.

In addition to the residence leadership program, I'm the President of my academic program's society, I'm hoping to write for the school paper and the Dal paper, and I'm auditioning for the chapel choir next weekend. I'm pretty nervous for that last one. The choir is a big time commitment and it's pretty professional, but I would love to do it. I hope my sight reading is good enough...

Tailbone

2010-04-10T10:52:00.004-04:00

I went sledding way back in December when I went to visit Phil in New Brunswick and we both went over a big bump and bruised our tailbones. We both had some difficulty sitting down for a few days, but then it passed... sort of...

However, months later, my tailbone still hurts when I sit for a long time, which I do a lot, as a student. Especially when I semi recline as I do on my bed watching movies or tv or writing. This is a problem. It's very uncomfortable. I wish it would just go away.

Friday Night

2010-04-10T00:06:00.003-04:00

Today was the last day of classes for my second year of university.

I don't feel like this is particularly momentous, or worthy of note, for me. But, I looked at the fourth years who have become fixtures and sadly tried to imagine next year without them. But then I think about being a third year, which leads to fourth year and finishing and leaving and then my chest gets all tight and I need to calm down. (On a side note, I keep stressing about various things while I lie in bed reading and then getting heart burn. So I really do need to calm down).

I went to the last lecture of the Foundation Year today. Traditionally, it's a more informal lecture, given for fun by a prominent or leaving professor. This year was just the same, so I went and sat in, next to a fourth year, a fixture, and it was sad. I watched him write his notes. We did our usual insulting banter back and forth. I wonder what it will be like without him. Another friend, a tutor in the programme, is leaving to do his PhD in Scotland. It's going to be fantastic, because he is a truly gifted teacher, and he so deserves it. But we'll miss him a lot. I will miss his enthusiasm, and his flattering complements about my outfits, and his gins with tonic.

It's sad to say goodbye to great people, even when you know they're going on to big things. You just hope that someday, your paths will converge again.

Thinking About Food

2010-04-08T20:38:00.002-04:00

Along with other bloggers I read, I've been watching Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. I've been watching Jamie Oliver since his Naked Chef days, and this show doesn't disappoint. It's the town named the most unhealthy in America, so Jamie has gone down there to try to get them to change the way they think about good. It's very sad to watch, sometimes, - when the kids in the schools can't identify vegetables on sight, or a depressed Jamie has to add french fries to make his veggie stir-fry acceptable to serve in school - but he cares very deeply, which is lovely to watch. (In Canada, we can watch it on www.ctv.ca).

Also on the topic of food, I've gotten into reading the food blog of Jennifer, one of my very favourite bloggers. Everything looks so delicious and easy - but I'm sure she just makes it look easy. Her post on meal planning was also great. She just posted on Sew Green blog, about her efforts as a backyard gardiner. It's enough to make me pick up a trowel.

All of this food talk makes me want to cook! Sort of. I mean, I am not a cook. I barely cook. I can make scrambled eggs and a casserole, if I have an easy recipe. But I should actually work on that. Living in residence means my kitchen access is highly limited, but this summer I will give it a try. I have inspiration!

Twitterquake

2010-04-05T15:28:00.004-04:00

I love the webcomic xkcd. Lately, I've felt it's been not as good as usual, but this one was excellent, and made me chuckle.

"New look, new spirit for North End housing co-op"

2010-04-04T20:46:00.002-04:00

I have been busily working away on a story for journalism class, and here is the result! As usual, that is my real name, but I keep it over there.

It's a great story of the ways that investing in community improves the world. Hear that, government?

Easter Weekend

2010-04-04T20:12:00.004-04:00

I love Easter weekend. It always ends up being spring-time-y, even when it rains. This weekend was absolutely gorgeous in Halifax, with the warmest weather yet this spring. I wore shorts today! It was fantastic!

Phil came down on Wednesday night and stayed until this afternoon. We had a lot of fun, dyeing eggs, having picnics, and attending some excellent parties.

The fantastic Easter Vigil service happened last night. It's two hours of the Solemn Vigil, which happens in darkness, with all sorts of readings, fun things from the Old Testament, like Genesis, and pagan throw-backs, like the lighting the new fire. Next comes the joyous Easter mass, with bell-ringing and the lights. The whole thing starts at 11pm, so by the time the church bells ring, it's 1:00 am. Probably some people were confused.

I went to the service last year, and it was just as good this year. The two services flow together, connected by a creepy and epic piece of music written by Paul Halley, the choir director at King's.

The Resurrection Party followed, with its usual dancing, drinking, and calls of "Christos Anesti!" I went to bed as the sky started to light up. I slept until noon.

Well, another day

2010-03-31T19:34:00.002-04:00

No matter how many times I do it, job interviews freak me out.

Today I had my interview for junior don. At my school, the dons of each floor are at least one year outside their undergraduate, so it's not a student thing. It's how we can have a student patrol and no hired on-campus security service.

Students can apply to be junior dons, which is what I did. I hope that goes well, because it means a big break on residence fees, and it would be fun. Luckily, one of the members of the interview committee told me I nailed it. I find out next week!

Also, I'm getting sick. Why, why does the sick come back now? I am halfway through Holy Week, which means church every day, culminating with a sick three-hour midnight service and then a massive party. I am looking forward to it.

And Phil is due to arrive at any moment, to stay for the weekend. I got a lot of work done in advance, to prepare for goofing off and doing nothing. It's going to be warm and sunny. Hooray!

Nurse Jackie

2010-03-30T21:50:00.004-04:00

As if I needed something to procrastinate about, I have become addicted to Nurse Jackie. Luckily there's only been one season and a bit so far, so it won't be a huge waste of my time, on the whole. Especially since I'm probably going to finish it, like, tonight.

Seriously though, this show is GREAT. Edie Falco does a fantastic job. Often, when shows try to be a drama and a comedy at the same time, both sides fall flat. In this show, it is both so well. It is darkly humourous like early Grey's Anatomy, and all the characters are great. Big fat recommend.

I love Libraries

2010-03-25T21:16:00.004-04:00

I have always loved my local library, or any libraries at all, really. The smell of books and the quiet heads bowed over books and papers have a nice, comfortable vibe. This library in Somerset, England is a little different.

More here.

I don't have any fun stories to tell today, but last night was Big Night, the annual talent show. It's a fun time with neat acts from heavy metal to highland dancing. Last year Phil and I hosted it, pre-dating period. We were pretty cute, and we matched our outfits - I wore a fierce red dress, he wore a red shirt with his suit. It was a huge ton of fun and people still mention it to me from time to time, which is nice.

At intermission of this year's Big Night, I called Phil on the phone. I felt nostalgic.

I hate cold and wet together

2010-03-23T22:17:00.005-04:00

It's been so sunny in Halifax that we've all forgotten what it can really be like in the spring.

I woke up this morning and it was so grey I actually said "no", out loud, and rolled over into my bed which had suddenly become ten times more comfy by comparison to the wet and the cold. But alas, I had to get up and going.

As a sequel to The Week of Library, I present... The Week of Journalism! I have a lot of journalism assignments due next Tuesday (like all of them... why, universe... why?), so my life right now is eat, sleep, read, interview. Repeat. Today I went down to city hall to see how things go there. Unfortunately I missed the throwdown in the afternoon, but was able to follow it via livetweet. I hung out in the jschool and watched the tweets. It was a strange experience.

Well, I'm beat, and I've written the lede for my journalism article, so I think it's bedtime. Nothing to look forward to but many days of rain and assignments. Joy.

No more research paper!

2010-03-22T22:46:00.001-04:00

3500 words later, I’m still feeling a little drained.

Well, the current drained feeling probably has more to do with staying out late on a Sunday night, which, incidentally, is a stupid night to party. I knew that. It’s obvious. But it has never been more obvious to me than right now.

After a night of shenanigans, which left our host’s house a mess, everyone stumbled out into the night and it feels a lot like we’ve been stumbling ever since then. Over the course of the day, I heard various stories of headaches and confusion (“someone from that party called me at 2am, and didn’t know who he was talking to or why he called”), while I buckled down to polish my essay to a finish. I handed it in at four and felt great.

Felt great until five minutes after I handed it in. I stopped into the KSU office to say hello to a friend, laid down on the couch, and didn’t get up for two hours. Something about the last minute paper mode or adrenaline or whatever, but I didn’t feel it until 4 this afternoon. Then it was brutal.

Luckily, the universe offered me four hours of last minute work and a perfect excuse not to go crazy tonight. I finish my shift at midnight, and maybe I’ll stop by the bar for a quick drink. Nothing too crazy. Very low key. My foggy heads demands it.

Paper Weekend

2010-03-21T20:12:00.004-04:00

So I did it! I survived! And the paper was done 23 hours before the due time. I am very proud of myself.

In other news, I want to get a little bit more active. Considering I do nothing to get off my butt at the moment, anything would be good. A bunch of my friends are all on a hot yoga kick, which sounds fun. I used to love doing yoga! Moving to a new city and filling my life with new things has crowded it out of my life.

Anyway, I hope all of you have had a lovely weekend. The weather here was beautiful, perfectly befitting the arrival of spring. I managed a couple hours reading outside which working on the paper.

Tonight is the changeover party for the union council, so I'm going to go celebrate finishing my paper.

St. Paddy's Day

2010-03-17T09:20:00.003-04:00

So, I know I probably won't have time to post later on, so here are a couple of links on stupid Conservatives, from my morning reading:

"Birth control won't be in G8 plan to protect mothers, Tories say"- As is clearly laid out in the story, birth control is an integral part of helping the women who are dying in pregnancy and childbirth. For a country that's supposed to be the great lefty north or whatever, just how conservative our Conservatives are freaks me out.

"Tory bill proposes publicizing names of violent young offenders" - Ditto my last statement. Come one, we have bigger fish to fry.

Tuesday

2010-03-16T22:16:00.003-04:00

Tuesdays are the worst days of ever. I have tons of class, I'm tired, and the week seems to stretch before me. Unending. Painful.

Sitting here thinking about how much I hate Tuesdays makes me think of Tuesdays last year. As the day when I took my journalism classes, it was my longest day of the week and it was full of painful lectures. I used to give myself the night off from homework, just to congratulate myself for surviving it.

It was also time off because that's when I started having regular Tuesday tea dates with Phil. I would go over to his room after I finished class, plunk myself down in the chair by the door, and sprawl. Usually I whined too. I have no idea what he found so attractive about that, but we're coming up to our nine month anniversary. Nine months of a long-distance relationship (some times longer than others), of phone calls and emails and hand-written love letters and whirlwind visits.

Phew. Nine months down, six until we get to see if we can stand one another in the same place for extended periods of time.

Library Marathon, Day 1

2010-03-15T18:17:00.003-04:00

It's going to be a loooong week of work.

Most of my "library time" was actually spent sitting outside the library, catching up with friends. Important developments occur over the weekend, even when the boyfriend is around to distract me from them. The result? I am now working on a late assignment. Ho-hum. I would love to work up the effort to care, but this is a tiny assignment, and sometimes, I just can't bring myself to, as my dad would say, rate it high on my give-a-shit meter.

The weirdest part of my day was actually before it had really begun. I set my alarm for the usual 8:00am. I hadn't gotten to bed until about 2, so I was tired. It was obvious just how tired when I felt like I was hitting the snooze every thirty seconds, even though it was five minutes. I thought I was ready to be properly awake at 8:20, so I turned off the alarm and turned on the radio.

The Current was running a radio doc about searching for answers in the crash of that french plane over the ocean, a few months ago, I think. But I fell asleep again, so I listened to the story and saw it in my head. I was a character, I'm not sure who, but I distinctly heard the narrator going throughout the "dream". I wasn't really asleep completely, because I came to fifteen minutes later when I realized I should stop and get up. It was a very bizarre experience. It was like lucid dreaming, but different. I wonder what it's called.

Weekend Update

2010-03-15T00:11:00.002-04:00

My original plan for this weekend, visiting Phil in New Brunswick, fell through, so Phil instead came to me. I got no work done. Surprise.

So, now my week promises 24/7 in the library. Hopefully I will get some time for other things, like sleeping. Oh, and St Patrick's Day. That promises to be good.

I don't really have anything to add, but any positive vibes my way this week would be excellent. Oh brutal.

DSC_1568

2010-03-11T23:19:00.004-05:00

From the workshop tonight - better quality than the last upload.

Dancing + The Insecurity Machine

2010-03-11T22:25:00.005-05:00

Tonight, I love dancing. Jennalee, ex-exec of Dance Collective, choreographer, and lovely person, is in town for the weekend and so did a hip hop workshop for us. She graduated last semester and moved to Victoria, where she's doing exciting things like joining crews and dancing a ton. We miss her, but she's on to bigger things and we wish her all the best.

She did two workshops tonight. The first one was more classic hip hop - a little pop, a little lock, and a little bit of Jennalee silliness. Even though it was the more kind of stuff she has taught before, I could see the newness in it from her experiences in Victoria. The second hour was all new - contemporary and hip hop all together. She was worried about how it might go, but it was wonderful. And it was to Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine, which I downloaded yesterday, and which rocks. Go look it up.

I loved dancing tonight. Especially in the second hour, Jennalee gave us lots of room to move and do our own thing. I quit dance when I was 13 and the only thing I hate more than my body was putting it in a leotard and dancing with tiny girls. When I had to special order a size big enough for me, and it took forever to come in, I quit. I have a vivid memory of wearing my sweats and looking at myself in the mirror across the room, an elephant among the tiny, beautiful creatures. I didn't go back. And I have always regretted it.

Today Stella admitted to her blog world her own insecurities, and opened the comments to others to share their own. It all came spilling out for me. This year, being a DanceCo executive, has been amazing. It's been a step in the door. I have danced! Having the title helped me feel kind of like I belonged. Like, "I have this title. I am legitimized". Obviously, the self-consciousness was still there and bled through and it did so in a completely negative way. I acted more like I knew what I was doing when I didn't really. When I needed to reach out and get some help. But I was too worried about losing my grip on this thing I'd lost one already.

I know I'm not a fantastic dancer, and it is too late, really, to change that. I can participate in it, which I love, but I will not be the other girls who move so easily and with such beautiful poise. I can only try to follow along, and stand in awe of them.

Also, my writing is slipping and after a bad bout of being heavily edited in everything I write, I have lost it. And I've convinced myself that my mom is the only one who thinks I can write, and really I can't. And I have no skills. The insecurity, it seems, runs deep. This year has been a good one for avoiding it, but I can feel it swallowing me up again, after all this time, and I'm scared.

My day on the set of ER

2010-03-10T21:09:00.003-05:00

Reading the 170 pages for class tomorrow. Working on my research paper. Reorganizing my sock drawer. All things I would have rather done today than spend eleven hours in the ER.

At about 3am last night, I woke up in excruciating pain. It was in my shoulder and my side, radiating up and down, and it came with a creepy numbness in my arm. After trying to walk it off (I thought it might be muscular) and scaring the pants off Student Patrol in the process, they called the duty don who decided I needed to go to the hospital.

When we arrived at triage, I explained what was going on, best I could, between the short gasps of breath I had to take to avoid making the pain even worse. Apparently my symptoms seemed serious enough that I was bumped up the list and was in a room in no time. Well, in a room, ready to wait.

Luckily, the duty don on call was my good friend Chris. He stayed with me a long time, dozing on the chair next to me and waiting for doctors and test results. He was a bit of a mess come morning and I finally convinced him to go home around 9:30am. I stayed until 2pm. Since I left in such a hurry, I had no books, no music, nothing. As soon as the intense pain subsided some, I was very, very bored.

A chest x-ray, blood tests, and a VQ lung scan later, I have learned two things:

1. It seemed like I might be having a pulmonary embolism, but the tests ruled all that out. My lungs are working well - hurray! However, my side still hurts quite a bit. The doctor says my chest wall is being irritated by something, and it will go away... eventually. At least I can breathe now, unlike at 3am.

2. Hospitals are more like ER than I would have thought. I was witness to a whole lot of gossiping - as if I wasn't even in the room! Students can be adorable - my radiology student did the scans wrong and had to start over. Adorably. Everyone is as buddy buddy as it seems. They hugged all the time and called one another "buddy" and "babe". Also like on ER, this extends to the paramedics who were always hanging out in the hallway with patients on stretchers.

The ER I was in is the trauma centre for the province, so they get all the excitement. I didn't witness much - but they do hide the trauma rooms better than on ER. I walked past the ambulance bay at one point, and it led into this oppressively somber hallway. I don't even know why, it just made me shiver. They do helpfully cover the windows of these trauma rooms in order to avoid the clingy family situation from ER.

Main difference: They called it "Emerge" not "ER".

The Sun

2010-03-08T18:25:00.002-05:00

Today I love the sun, again.

I had so much reading to do today, I thought my brain was going to explode. Luckily I was able to do most of it sitting outside with my friends on the steps of the library. Shades on, no more coat than a sweater. I must have gotten a little sun today, because I can still feel the warmth on my cheeks and I'm tired in that from-the-sun-way. Ahh.

In other news, my hair is getting so long now! It feels like just yesterday I cut it all off for a pixie cut, and now it's down to my shoulders. Now that it's long, I feel like a) cutting it all off again (Oh Carey Mulligan... you make me want to so much!) or b) buying some styling things like a hair dryer or a straightener. Hair is harder to deal with when it's longer.

"We are BINGE DRINKING!"

2010-03-08T09:04:00.003-05:00

Today, I love not being hungover anymore.

The campus bar is the hub of activity around here. Everyone meets there on Monday nights to catch up, dance, and drink the cheapest beer in the province. We love our musty, old, stained carpet and the rotting bar, the poor lighting and complete lack of air circulation. It's our little corner, in the basement of the academic building, and every Friday early happy hour, our halls of learning smell like local microbrew.

Once a year, we celebrate all that is our favourite place. The birthday party for the bar is legendary. Things break, people get messy, and everyone spends the next 24 hours recovering. I started lining up with my friends at 5pm. The bar opened at 7pm. The reason for the line (which started at 2, I'm told, and eventually snaked up four floors of stairs and back down part way) is the prices. Even after the prices went up a bit this year, the birthday prices started at $0.75/drink (beer, bar shot, anything) and the price went up by a quarter every 15 minutes, when they'd ring a bell at the main bar and the whole place would boo and groan. Needless to say, it takes no time at all to get silly.

There was a band, I'm told, and dancing, which I do remember. The usual breaking and bleeding also occurred, not on my part, luckily. Things got out of hand at 11, when they shut the party down early. I didn't make it to bed until... late. I think.

The next afternoon at union council, we were all pretty messy. It was my last council meeting, and we laughed and joked and drank Powerade. The only way I got through the day (God, I'm going to sound like an alcoholic) was by drinking to ward off the hangover. I watched the Oscars with my equally hungover friends, sipping ginger ale for my stomach and gin for the hangover. Today, no hangover. Thank God.

Oscarama

2010-03-07T21:52:00.003-05:00

I know it's "mainstream" and I know it's cheesy and I know so much politics goes into the decisions... but I love the Oscars.

I am watching them with my friends, laughing at the funny bits and judging the bad dresses (and the presence of Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, and Miley Cyrus).

also... Lauren Bacall rocks.

UPDATE: Hell yeah, Kathryn Bigelow! Finally, a woman best director winner. A great moment.

Let in the sun!

2010-03-06T10:31:00.003-05:00

In Halifax, the part of winter with teeth - the days of really heavy snow, or a wind that feels like needles on exposed skin - has been pretty limited this year. I didn't need to wear my winter coat for most of January and February. It put me in the mood of waiting for spring. It was cloudy and grey, but still warm and I was waiting for the smell of spring.

When I woke up this morning, the smell was here! I woke up at 8:30, bleary-eyed and confused. The sunlight was streaming in my window and everything looked green and ready. I love spring in Halifax!

Return

2010-03-04T23:52:00.002-05:00

It's been quite a while since I've been in the swing of blogging on a regular basis.

I really got to thinking about it today when my friend Ange interviewed me about blogging for an assignment she was working on. We drank tea and talked for an hour about reading blogs and writing blogs and it was kind of fun. We talked for so long I was late for my next class. I decided that I wish someone would invent a search engine - blog thing that would show a diagram with a blog in the middle and a web of the blogs that it linked to and how often. Ange thought it would be like the blogger version of the lesbian diagram on the L-Word. Or also an easier way to find blogs by geographic area. I don't read any Halifax blogs, but I would like to.

Anyway, to try to get back into the swing of things I've decided to post every day for 30 days. I'll post something I like. Whatever that means. Today, I liked Ange interviewing me.

In the Library

2010-02-15T19:52:00.004-05:00

So I'm in the library studying for a midterm. I hate midterms. I hate them even though I don't really know what it's like to experience a real midterm season; I take a lot of classes at King's that are structured differently and don't have them. But here I am, stuck with a midterm tomorrow night in News Media and the Courts.

Sounds fun, I know.

After a few hours of staring at my computer screen, my face hurt. I took a break to grab a drink of water and hopefully find some real, human interaction. I was lucky. I found my friend Clifford at a table, writing a paper.

After a few minutes of idle chitchat about boyfriends, girlfriends, etc, I mentioned how much I was hating studying for my media and law test. Without explaining, he pulled up Google on his computer, and typed in "media law and kittens".

We found this:

"Didn't that make you feel better?" he asked me.

It did.

Valentine's Day Post

2010-02-15T16:07:00.002-05:00

I guess on Valentine's Day something that you do is post about Valentine's Day. However, on my Valentine's Day, my Valentine was visiting from out of town.

In a lot of ways it was just like every other weekend when he visits. We spend a lot of time ignoring other people. I ignore my homework. He does adorable things for me.

Valentine's Day is not really my thing. I loved in grade five when you decorated a big paper bag to put cards in and got a whole afternoon of class off for a party (Mmm... pink icing). Beyond that, I haven't really been up on Valentine's Day since. I've never really had a Valentine to moon over either.

I probably would have done something this year if it hadn't fallen on the day after the dance show, and maybe would have done something anyway if I wasn't sick from overworking myself. I told Phil upfront not to do much of anything because I would feel bad. He did surprise me; we were sitting in my room after I came back from striking the set of the dance show, when Saf at called me from front desk to tell me to come pick something up from my mailbox. Obviously, this was all a clever ruse by Phil to lure me away so he could quickly surprise me with dinner. Sushi and green tea! Yum. I have the best boyfriend ever.

Now he's gone back home. Ho-hum.

Coming Clear

2010-02-11T10:14:00.002-05:00

Last night was opening night! And the house was really full! And there were minimal problems! The audience cheered and laughed and the faces of the audience, from what I could see, were oh thorough enjoyment. A couple faces of friends made me laugh during my dances. We all had so much fun. Which is the whole point right?

My brain is starting to come out of the all-consuming fog of Planning A Show. It took me an hour to get out of bed this morning but as I was showering, I wasn't mentally making a show to-do list. I started thinking about the paper I need to write and the presentation I need to prepare. I picked out clothes instead of throwing something on to run out the door.

I still feel like there are a lot of cotton balls between my ears, just from exhaustion. My friend (and co-director) and Seana had her mom in town for the night to see the show. After, she took a few of us out for a late dinner, and it was lovely. I love moms. My mom is incredibly sad not to be around for the show, and she really liked someone's mom was around. Seana's mom gave me a big hug and a congratulations after the show, which made me feel good.

We did it. We really did it. I can't believe it.

White Light

2010-02-10T10:15:00.001-05:00

White Light, originally uploaded by ekhornbeck.

Maybe you have missed me - maybe not. However, the show goes up tomorrow night so I'm about to get my life back.

Quick recap: I'm on the executive of a society called the Dance Collective. We have an incredible wealth of talent here - especially in the first year. It seems to be full of fabulous dancers! Auditions were really hard because there was so much interest in the show. None of the four exec ever imagined we'd have such a hard time casting the show. We ended up with 34 dancers - 33 girls and one latin-dancing boy.

It's been very hard to corral so many people, but we are so proud of what we have created. The theme of the show is colour and we call it White Light. Each full-length dance has a colour (Highland, green, Latin, red, Jazz, black) and in between are short dances which show the change between colours. A character of "white light" goes throughout.

Last night was the dress rehearsal and it went so well! I was so proud of everyone. There were enough hiccups that my superstition about bad dress rehearsal, good performance is satisfied, but it went smoothly enough that I'm confident.

This morning, the firs thing I woke up thinking was: Opening Night. My stomach is in a giant knot right now. I feel kind of like I might puke and sometimes I forget to breathe for a few seconds. So many people are coming tonight to see this thing that I and three other directors have put together. I hope it goes well. I so hope it goes well.

This is the poster and program cover for the show. I designed it with another director, Seana. That is not me doing a high kick. I wish.

A late surprise

2010-02-03T08:55:00.003-05:00

Every day I skip down the stairs to breakfast and wave at Monica who works front desk during the day. Today she stopped me on my way down.

"You have a package, you know," she told me.

I looked into the armchair in front of the desk where all the packages are laid out for students to pick up and recognized the familiar label of a family friend's design company. It was a big envelope with a bulge in the middle, the end taped up to stay closed.

When I opened it, I found a beautifully wrapped gift with a ribbon and a card that said "Happy Late Birthday!" Inside were a pair of red Olympic mittens. I put them on immediately and took myself and my cosy hands to breakfast. Also: the card was pop-up. What a great day to wake up to!

My Number

2010-01-28T12:51:00.002-05:00

Last night I went to the Tegan and Sara concert in Halifax. I am a pretty big Tegan and Sara fan, so much so that I had to force myself to stop listening to them for several years in order to avoid becoming overloaded and hating them. It was a hard thing to do. It was just before The Con came out and then I tried listening to The Con, and honestly, I was not so impressed. So Tegan, Sara and I entered into a period of distance. We were like those awkward Facebook friends, you met them at camp or at a summer job or something and were really close for a while but now don't really talk, just awkwardly know you used to be super close.

Anyway, Sainthood came out last year and my dad bought it for me. I didn't even know it was out when he produced it from his suitcase in October when he came to visit me. I downloaded it, listened to it once, and hadn't listened to it until Monday afternoon when I realized that the concert was this week. Some people prepare for concerts by going on a music fast and not listening to that artist. I go on a binge. I get myself pumped. So pumped. So last night? I was pumped.

They were funny, they were hot, they played so many of the great songs I wanted, they made me want to cut all my hair off and run away to be a groupie. They were great. It was the last stop on their tour, and you could tell they were a little tired. But still put on a great show. And I correctly hypothesized which twin was which on stage, which makes me very proud of myself.

Two of my favourite Tegan and Sara songs are My Number from This Business of Art, one of their earlier CDs, and Living Room from So Jealous. One is old and the other has a banjo in it and I was convinced they wouldn't play either one. Oh, but then they came out for the encore and it was just Tegan and Sara, doing their thing, being awesome. And they played my number AND Living Room. Living Room was the very last song and I just went nuts. It was like they played it just for me.

Dance Dance Dance

2010-01-25T21:09:00.006-05:00

My weekend was devoted to Phil and dancing. Pretty much a perfect weekend, come to think of it.

Phil decided to come down just for a couple nights because, well, (aw) he missed me. And I missed him too. I was super excited to see him. No big event, no big plans, just time together. Sometimes, that's more than enough.

We did end up going out for dim sum with Saf and Ange, which was delicious. I'd never been for dim sum before, and I have no idea why the heck not. You get all these little things to try, and they come in cute little dishes and they're easy and fun to share. It was great. Ange said that in Vancouver, she goes to a restaurant for dim sum where they come around with a little cart and you get to pick things off the cart! How cute. I want to go there.

The rest of the weekend was a whirlwind of Bollywood scarves, hip hop booty bounces, and jazzy spins and side kicks. After the three hours of rehearsal and into the run-through, I spread my fingers out in front of me and counted off the days. Seventeen. Seventeen days until this crazy, wonderful, stress-inducing, heart-palpitating, spirit-lifting show goes up. Seventeen days to buy costumes, make costumes, paint the set, build the set, and rehearse, rehearse, rehearse!

I strained my hip, my legs ache, and I have a bruise on the bottom of my right foot. So why exactly do I do it? For those 90 minutes, times three, each week, that I get to forget about homework, and show-planning, and interpersonal issues, and being far from people I love and just dance, pretend I am that amazing dancer I have always wanted to be with excellent form and legs that go on forever.

I think I'll go stretch now. Ouch.

The Choir Trend

2010-01-22T14:11:00.002-05:00

I joined a choir! Hurray! Just like Stella.

I used to sing in a choir every Sunday at the church I went to. I even convinced my best friend to come too, and we sat in the Soprano section, singing the hymns (Anglicans have excellent hymns) and hanging out. I actually really enjoyed singing, even though I started it because I was bored in church and I wasn't allowed to not go to church.

My school has a pretty stellar chapel choir. Their Christmas concert was recorded and played on CBC on Christmas Eve and Christmas. We have this crazy amazing grammy-winning choir director who showed up and made the choir amazing. It means you have to have some singing chops prior to joining the choir. I was intimidate by that, so I was too afraid to audition for it.

Because that choir got competitive, the Concert Collective on campus decided to establish another choir, more for developing skills. I went to an audition (with the extremely attractive new choir director, son of the first grammy-winning director) and after ten minutes of highly embarrassing singing by myself, I was deemed a soprano and invited to the first rehearsal, which is this afternoon! I'm very excited! It's one more thing on the busy 3 hours of my Friday afternoons, but I am too psyched to back out.

Also, Phil is coming to visit me this weekend, and it's Saf's birthday today! Happy Birthday Saf! It's going to be a good weekend.

Phone death

2010-01-19T08:46:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, my phone gave up the ghost. After two years of loyal service, of two long distance relationships and countless homesick calls to my mom, after 600+ days of waking me up with its friendly chime, my Samsung slider could not go on any longer.

It was sad. I was just starting to like the thing. It had spunk, and a cute animation while making calls. I enjoyed the slide more than I thought I would - It worked as a nervous tick to play with and an easy snooze button on my alarm.

I had an afternoon off, so I took a few minutes and went down to the Rogers store. "It's broken," I said sadly, "the screen is broken."

"Sorry," the man told me, "we could fix it, but it's not worth it."

The phone is old, and the battery was going. I had been thinking about moving on. In fact, I'd been thinking about making the move to a smartphone.

A Blackberry, to be precise. I have thought about an iPhone, or been told I should, but I am not big on the touch screen right now (maybe I'll get over it eventually, or in our future age of tablet PCs or whatever. Maybe I'll be a hopeless romantic with buttons, just like I snail mail now). I would like to get my email on my phone, and it'd be pretty nifty to get Facebook and Twitter on my phone. I talked to Rogers, and after changing things around, it would only cost about 10-15 bucks more per month than I currently pay. And buying a new Blackberry would cost the same as buying a new phone to replace my dead one.

I guess the indecision that thrives in me is making it hard for me to make a decision. Will having email on my phone freak me out? Or will it be convenient? I will be able to get more work shifts, since I get shifts by responding to emails about open shifts, but that's a minor detail.

Does anyone have any advice for me?

On journalism and climate change

2010-01-17T10:51:00.004-05:00

The Sunday Edition on CBC has started a new segment called "Mediaphiles" which will "look at how journalists are doing, at reporting the stories". This week they looked at climate change reporting today. He talked with Margaret Wente - who seems to be everyone on CBC these days - and someone else (who I will add in here as soon as the Sunday Edition updates its website and reminds me of his name), and the discussion was definitely one worth having.

Things are slipping through the cracks when it comes to reporting on climate change and on science in general. Reporters aren't given enough time to look fully into a story, to read all the things they need to read, ask the people they need to ask, and really get a hold on the story to report it fully, which is the point, isn't it? They cited the example of those emails that hit the news late last year, about the so-called climate change conspiracy going on in the scientific community. No one really had time to take a real look at these emails until days later. Too often, reporters opt for a one side against the other model, in an effort to be fair. Often, the truth is found somewhere in the middle, and the nuances are the important part.

Margaret Wente said:

"We need smarter news editors and news managers. For years and years people assumed there's one basic truth and that's the end of the questions, but that's the beginning of the questions. It takes a really good critical thinker. "

Everyone agreed we need dedicated science reporters and they need the time to really look into the stories they tell, particularly with something so heated (pardon the pun) as climate change. But will we really get that these days when most media outlets seem to be going the other way? Will the real investigative work be left to bloggers?

a further reflection on the theme of time (which seems to pop up a lot in my blog these days)

2010-01-16T10:06:00.003-05:00

Today, this morning, I feel completely relaxed. The sun has pulled out from behind the clouds for a day, and the blue sky stretches over the warm quad. There's snow but it seems so ridiculous that there's snow on a beautiful, warm spring day that could be Ottawa in April.

I should be reading Dostoevsky, or something for my history of science classes. I have this morning off. Really, really off. According to my new calendar, I am not supposed to be doing anything at all until 1 pm. Until then, I sit on my bed with my computer, listening to podcasts and smelling the sun coming in the window.

If you're a Tegan and Sara fan, here's an interview they did with Jian Ghomeshi. My favourite part is right at the end when Tegan explains to Jian how she proactively dissuades herself from drunk calling/texting girls who are bad for her - she names them things like "Bad Idea" or "She's never going to call you back" in her contact list.

A waste of my time

2010-01-15T15:17:00.002-05:00

One of my responsibilities here on campus as president of my residence is the kitchen. The students, in addition to the meal plans, are lucky enough to have access to a nice kitchen. There are some pots and pans, mostly donated, and some utensils, plates, glasses, etc. The oven works, the burners too, and there's a microwave and fridge.

Unfortunately, many people don't seem to get that they do not live at home where someone yelled at them to clean up their dishes, or their parents did it for them. They live at school, and sorry kid, but you gotta clean up after yourself.

Since the kitchen is my responsibility, I have to deal with the incredible mess in it. This year has been bad. It was always gross and filled with gross but it was the worst when, on Halloween, a drunk idiot smashed the microwave, sprinkling glass everywhere and rendering it useless. That was when I decided to close the kitchen.

It was locked for a month and a half with a sign on it saying "the kitchen has been closed due to vandalism and a total disrespect for the space". I cleaned the place all up, discarding more kinds of mould than I'd ever seen before. It was GROSS.

Over Christmas, the cleaning staff did an amazing job on the kitchen, something that's not really their job, and was amazing. After meeting with the Dean, I made a new kitchen rule: Any dirty dishes left overnight get thrown away. And open food in the fridge, likewise. The result will be either people will clean, or I'll throw out all the dishes. Too friggin bad.

Up until today it was nice. People cleaned things. I breathed happy sighs when I checked in on it daily and the Dean and I high fived. Today it was a mess. I went in, I threw away five dirty dishes, threw away some cooking supplies left out on the counter. I mopped the floor (where someone seemed to have poured icing down a wall) and peeled layers of YUCK off the table.

Please, idiots, please. Clean your friggin stuff up. This is so not my job.

Keeping it together

2010-01-13T07:12:00.002-05:00

So far, my plan to keep organised is working... I think.

It's kind of hard to measure success with this one. But I have noticed I've felt slightly less panicked. I've started using the calendar on my computer to write down all of my commitments; meetings, classes, work hours, dance rehearsals... It's all there. So when something new comes up, I add it to the list. Yes, it has promoted a different way of procrastination a little bit. For instance, instead of surfing Facebook or Twitter, I play with my calendar. Time actually spent 'playing', however, has declined steadily daily. So I feel like it will be OK.

Everything is colour coordinated, including notes of to-do lists. It really has taken a load off of my mind. I'm not trying to juggle everything in my mind anymore - it's all laid out for me, and little by little, I can let go of the juggling stress, and just do the things. Even having my detailed, organised to do lists for reading and assignments helps.

Although, writing out all of my deadlines for the semester is not removing any stress at all. It has probably added to my stress to see them all laid out like this. My deadlines are fairly spread out, which is good, but there's one week where I have 2 assignments, 1 midterm, and 1 oral presentation in 3 days. Did I mention it's the Monday-Wednesday after the dance show goes up? Yikes.

The dance show, by the way, is going to be HOT. I am having a blast with this, despite all the stress involved with the co-director/co-stage manager/co-set design/etc and that work. Just like last year, I'm remembering how happy dancing makes me. I'm not what I'd call a "real dancer"; I used to take classes for years when I was little, but quit around age 12. I'm not highly trained at all. But man do I love it.

Christmas books

2010-01-06T09:04:00.001-05:00

Books are one of my very favourite things to get as a gift, and I got some pretty great ones this year.

Eat, Pray, Love - I have heard about this one mostly from Ange, but I gather it has received a lot of acclaim and they're even turning it into a movie starring Julia Roberts. I like to read the book before I see the movie, and it looks pretty good from skimming a few pages.

The Grammar Girl's Devotional - like a page-a-day calendar, but in book format, this "devotional" gives a grammar tip every day. Good grammar is important and thinking about good grammar is also important. It'll help me brush up on my grammar skillz.

This Book is Broken - a history of the Broken Social Scene. The format is mostly quotes/dialogue from band members, but beyond that the book itself is beautiful, with tops of photos and posters, kind of scrapbook-style.

What is Stephen Harper Reading? - I'd heard a bit about this story before I got the book. Yann Martel, Canadian author of Life of Pi, sends a book to Stephen Harper every week with a letter of recommendation on the book's behalf. This book is a collection of those letters. Hey! Maybe Stepherino prorogued Parliament to catch up on some reading...

What books did you get/read over the holidays? Any recommendations for me?