Oh my god, Oh my god, I just pulled a huge hair out of my eye. GROSS. I spent all feeling like there was something on my eye and there was. A huge hair. I just measured it, it was 5 cm long. And now my eye is all bloodshot and sore from sticking my finger in it repeatedly.
Giving my moral support about my eye was a close friend Kirsten. Due to shitty family circumstances and close proximity, Kirsten became the third daughter of our family. She's been following her own path which has led her a little further from us than before. She put dreads in her hair and moved out with some friends last year. Now she's gone to live in Montreal and go to design school and I said goodbye to her today. In all likelihood, I won't see her until next summer, and I'll miss her, even though she drives me insane. Who else will come into my work yelling "Evey! I NEED pants!"
Monday, 18 August 2008
Brace for impact
As time runs short, things start to change. My sister and I pick more fights. My mother's voice goes up a couple decibels to maintain a chirpy, cheerful tone. My dad keeps repeating "I don't want her to go yet" when he thinks I can't hear him. My cats, my sweet, warm, wonderful cats seem just that much cuter and sweeter and impossible to leave. Every moment seems longer, and shorter and sometimes it gets really hard not to cry, but my mom and I have an understanding. If we each cry alone, we can both pretend it isn't happening. We can both be fine. It doesn't count if we don't see it.
"You have to promise me," she keeps saying with a voice that hopes for humour, "that when I leave you don't give me that look that makes me want to come back and bring you home."
Move-in is at 10am on August 30th, and Frosh starts at 1pm. "What if I need time?" Davis asked me the other day, "I need time. I want a day to be sad and cry and miss my home. After that I can go to frosh, but I want time. To mourn."
Every day is a roller coaster, highs and lows. One moment I can't wait, I feel confident in the changing relationship with my mother, I'm excited for a new place, I'm itching for freedom. A few minutes later, I feel scared and alone and I want my mommy. I want to curl up in bed and stay there where it's safe.
"You have to promise me," she keeps saying with a voice that hopes for humour, "that when I leave you don't give me that look that makes me want to come back and bring you home."
Move-in is at 10am on August 30th, and Frosh starts at 1pm. "What if I need time?" Davis asked me the other day, "I need time. I want a day to be sad and cry and miss my home. After that I can go to frosh, but I want time. To mourn."
Every day is a roller coaster, highs and lows. One moment I can't wait, I feel confident in the changing relationship with my mother, I'm excited for a new place, I'm itching for freedom. A few minutes later, I feel scared and alone and I want my mommy. I want to curl up in bed and stay there where it's safe.
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
Happy days are here again
I stand in front of the closet, with a hand on one hip. Behind me lie all of the pants that, five minutes earlier, sat in the closet. The shorts, the first victims, are crumpled underneath the heavier cold-weather corduroys. On the top lie many versions of my classic staple: the blue jean. Straight-leg, boot-cut, acid-washed, different sizes. After trying them all on, I am pondering the eternal problem: closet full of jeans, nothing to make my butt look good.
For the past couple weeks I have had some serious body frustration going on, and my pants are the problem. Having misplaced my stretchy under-skirt shorts, I can't comfortably wear my skirts and dresses, so I was left with pants which, you got it, just aren't fitting the way I wanted to. There is something truly shitty about starting your day hating the way your butt looks.
Until today -- success! My fancy, on-sale designer jeans I bought in Halifax returned from their disappearance just in time to boost my self-esteem. So I stood in front of the closet, pulled on the prodigal jeans and checked my ass in the mirror.
It's going to be a good day.
For the past couple weeks I have had some serious body frustration going on, and my pants are the problem. Having misplaced my stretchy under-skirt shorts, I can't comfortably wear my skirts and dresses, so I was left with pants which, you got it, just aren't fitting the way I wanted to. There is something truly shitty about starting your day hating the way your butt looks.
Until today -- success! My fancy, on-sale designer jeans I bought in Halifax returned from their disappearance just in time to boost my self-esteem. So I stood in front of the closet, pulled on the prodigal jeans and checked my ass in the mirror.
It's going to be a good day.
Monday, 11 August 2008
Last Supper
Last night was The Last Supper. Kevin invited over the LCI grads, all our friends, on the last day when we would all be in town together. A potluck feast was organised with massive contributions of fried rice and spring rolls from Kevin's mother. It was delicious.
I was incredibly nervous for The Last Supper, in that way that only a gathering of my high school peers can make me nervous. I made my salad, I put on my new sweater and I missioned out to Hunt Club.
Everything got off to a good start -- even Jake gave me a hug and told me he's missed me. I really enjoyed seeing everyone and catching up, but as dinner ended and people broke into groups, I couldn't help but feel like the same old story over again. I didn't have a place, I didn't belong there. That had the unfortunate consequence of making things worse by making me more uptight. Sometimes I suspect that if I could just chill out, it would be easier to fit.
I am even more psyched for King's now. I'm ready to try a new place, meet new people. A new situation.
I was incredibly nervous for The Last Supper, in that way that only a gathering of my high school peers can make me nervous. I made my salad, I put on my new sweater and I missioned out to Hunt Club.
Everything got off to a good start -- even Jake gave me a hug and told me he's missed me. I really enjoyed seeing everyone and catching up, but as dinner ended and people broke into groups, I couldn't help but feel like the same old story over again. I didn't have a place, I didn't belong there. That had the unfortunate consequence of making things worse by making me more uptight. Sometimes I suspect that if I could just chill out, it would be easier to fit.
I am even more psyched for King's now. I'm ready to try a new place, meet new people. A new situation.
Thursday, 7 August 2008
A fancy kind of day
Wow, is it ever raining. It's like the rain is making up for the rest of the day when it wasn't raining.
I spent today enjoying the lack of rain in Westboro. It was a little gross with the heat and the dust from all the construction on Wellington, but I enjoyed some quality sister bonding time nonetheless.
We ended up bargain hunting -- my sister bought two books for 99 cents each outside Collected Works, and I bought plates, bowls, glasses and wine glasses at St Vincent de Paul. Did I mention I LOVE charity shops? A lot. I also bought a charming children's book about "Discovering Nova Scotia". And it's a colouring book! Davis and I have already decided see all the sights in the book.
After braving the dust and heat, we headed for lunch at the restaurant where Davis works, which was delicious. I had fancy pizza and fancy mushroom salad. Then Davis and I went and inaugurated her fancy new Visa card by buying a fancy new hair straightener for a fancy low sale price. Look! Photographic evidence.
I spent today enjoying the lack of rain in Westboro. It was a little gross with the heat and the dust from all the construction on Wellington, but I enjoyed some quality sister bonding time nonetheless.
We ended up bargain hunting -- my sister bought two books for 99 cents each outside Collected Works, and I bought plates, bowls, glasses and wine glasses at St Vincent de Paul. Did I mention I LOVE charity shops? A lot. I also bought a charming children's book about "Discovering Nova Scotia". And it's a colouring book! Davis and I have already decided see all the sights in the book.
After braving the dust and heat, we headed for lunch at the restaurant where Davis works, which was delicious. I had fancy pizza and fancy mushroom salad. Then Davis and I went and inaugurated her fancy new Visa card by buying a fancy new hair straightener for a fancy low sale price. Look! Photographic evidence.
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
A couple of days ago I got an envelope from King's. I love getting mail, so I got really, really excited. It was a big envelope, nice and thick. It arrived just as I was running out the door to work, so I had all day to think about it. Was it about residence? Was it boring paperwork? Had I already messed something up already without knowing it?
Turns out it was none of those things. Instead, when I opened the envelope, I found Orientation Week info! Yay! The extreme nerdy nature of my O-Week quickly became apparent when I opened the booklet and found out the theme of O-Week (a week of Orientation, not Initiation!) is Dante's the Divine Comedy. We start in Purgatory! King's is very excited about The Divine Comedy, what with it being its 700th anniversary this year. I am going to the coolest, nerdiest school!
22 days left...
Wow. That is scary. That's... that's nothing. I don't know if I'm ready for this.
Turns out it was none of those things. Instead, when I opened the envelope, I found Orientation Week info! Yay! The extreme nerdy nature of my O-Week quickly became apparent when I opened the booklet and found out the theme of O-Week (a week of Orientation, not Initiation!) is Dante's the Divine Comedy. We start in Purgatory! King's is very excited about The Divine Comedy, what with it being its 700th anniversary this year. I am going to the coolest, nerdiest school!
22 days left...
Wow. That is scary. That's... that's nothing. I don't know if I'm ready for this.
Friday, 1 August 2008
Drawer Reassignment
Yesterday I took some time off of my busy chores-work-sleep schedule to go through my closet. REALLY go through. I've been going a little shopping crazy, what with finding great consignment stores in Indiana and the store where I work having its 70% off sale... Things were getting a little tight in the closet. So now everything is tidy, organized and I even rediscovered old shirts that I totally forgot I had and are very cute.
My only remaining problem is jeans. I have way too many pairs of jeans, but the problem is, I don't have my favourites. My favourite jeans are all worn out and ripped up and until I find their replacement... I have a bunch of random pairs I bought on sale which are nice, but are really just taking up room. This is my Saturday mission: jeans shopping. Wish me luck.
Meanwhile, today's mission is to get through my very long to-do list. It's now August; I need to get started on my book list for next year. Anyone have an extra copy of the Epic Of Gilgamesh lying around?
My only remaining problem is jeans. I have way too many pairs of jeans, but the problem is, I don't have my favourites. My favourite jeans are all worn out and ripped up and until I find their replacement... I have a bunch of random pairs I bought on sale which are nice, but are really just taking up room. This is my Saturday mission: jeans shopping. Wish me luck.
Meanwhile, today's mission is to get through my very long to-do list. It's now August; I need to get started on my book list for next year. Anyone have an extra copy of the Epic Of Gilgamesh lying around?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
