So, it's may and I had no idea. It snuck up on me. As a result, everything I thought was NEXT weekend was in fact THIS weekend. I can only hope Andrea and Jen and Megan will forgive me, cause I feel pretty stupid. And sad that I missed out.
Over the past few months (thanks, winter) I have gained a few pounds. Not a lot, just a little bit. Enough that I think I look different, at least under my clothes. Enough that I notice it. When I first realized this, I got a little worried. I was teased enough about my weight pre-growth spurt that I am still self-conscious about it, not matter how much I try not to be. When my old teachers see me, they commonly say things like "Oh! I didn't recognize you! You're... so tall! and thin!" So... basically... I don't want to be whatever I was before. Which means that whenever I gain any weight, I get uncomfortable. Freaked. I spent a couple of weeks avoiding looking at myself in the mirror and changing clothes fifty times every morning, trying to be happy with how I'm looking.
Until a couple days ago.
I was getting ready for bed one night when I stopped. I stood in front of my mirror and took a good look at myself. Tried to be objective and not exaggerate things in my mind. And what I saw surprised me.
I look pretty damn good. That extra weight sits really nicely on me. I actually like the way my stomach gently curves. Since I'm small-chested, I will take the curves I got, and I will enjoy them. This doesn't mean I will always love every part of me or that I'll never be insecure again. It just means I'm going to be proud of what I've got.