"Find a way to stall the cab!" "I'm sitting in it." "Good stall tactic"

I've always been one of those teenagers who got it later than everyone else. Out of the loop kind of a deal. When I found out my classmates were smoking POT in grade nine, I went through a week of depression. No joke - it was this incredibly feeling that the reality I knew and counted on was a lie (in grade nine, every little thing makes you question your reality). It's a good thing I didn't find out until later that people smoked in grade seven. I don't think my grade nine self could have handled it.

In any case, I get to things maybe two or three steps behind many of my classmates. Like going out at night, for instance. I'm a homebody. I love sitting at home in front of the TV/the fire/a good book/my pillow. It's my comfort zone. I especially love doing this with one or two friends. Sure I like going to parties too, but I like them to be in the house of a friend. Comfort zone. Last night I went to what is known as a "psi* party". Basically, lots of people, lots of loud music, lots of blacklight. I'm surprised I even got in -- it was a close call, lots of arguing was involved and the now semi-familiar looks exchanged between bouncer and DJ who is trying to get his girlfriend and her plus one (me) in to the show. It stresses me out, which just makes your chances even worse. Luckily I was with Kirsten, who has the DJ as well as the quick answers to everything.

I had a lot of fun, but I was up way later than I'm used to. I was up way past my bedtime (and I think I said that in front of DJ boyfriend, which makes me feel really stupid, and childish. I have no idea how I continue to function at this point (The proof that I'm not really: I wrote "fonction" intead of function. When I get tired, I sometimes type in french). Also, I have no idea where the weekend went. I got absolutely nothing done this weekend, which means I'll be up late tonight doing all the things I ran out of time for. The way the world rushes past me is astonishing.



*Psytrance. A kind of music.