Tuesday, 13 January 2009
Two years ago, when I was volunteering for PPO and Insight Theatre, Jenn, our coordinator took us all to see the Vagina Monologues. I was two thirds of the way through an incredible year of change and learning. It was the perfect time to see the Vagina Monologues, during my year of learning about my own vagina, my own female-ness.
When I saw the show, it totally blew me away. To me, it was more than saying the word vagina out loud. It was more than funny moans, or saddening statics. It was a lesson. It was a celebration. It was huge audience, all together, enjoying vaginas.
I thought that was pretty fucking awesome! I've always been one of those girls who loved being a woman. If you asked me if I'd ever rather be a boy, I would probably yell "NO!". I love being female and I love my vagina. And for those minutes, the whole world loved vaginas too -- not just the idea of vaginas, but each vagina individually. All of them.
I have changed a lot in the two years since I saw the Vagina Monologues. I learned more about myself. I have matured, physically and emotionally, to become the woman that I am. I have learned about my wants, about my body, about my limits. How to break my limits. I have begun a new relationship to vaginas. I have a lot of respect for vaginas, my own and others.
This year, I have another chance to feel that vagina-loving feeling. Dalhousie Women's Centre is putting on a production of the Vagina Monologues, and I'm going to be in it! This is so incredibly me, it's not even funny. I think some people would call me "vagina lover", mutter it under their breaths with all the same force of "motherfucker" and I would laugh. Because I love that.
I'm in the monologue called "My Vagina Was My Village". When the two women auditioning me asked me to read it, I was surprised. Of all the monologues, that one hit me the deepest. It's a tough one to hear, to read, it's awful and disgusting, and I don't even want to think about the women who have lived it. It's about rape in war; about dying from the inside out.
I think everyone should see the Vagina Monologues, if only so there are more conversations like the one I had in my friends kitchen the other night. I mentioned that I'd auditioned, and he told me about how he'd never realised what different relationships women and men have with their genitals, and he was genuinely fascinated and interested. And why not? Why not have think about vaginas a little bit once a year?
I'm so excited. I'm excited to spread the vagina love.