Oscarblog in a jar

Every year I join a liveblog during Oscars with my friends from the Compendium of Stupidity. I just re-read the highlights Michael posted and laughed a lot. Loud and long and clear, as they would say in Mary Poppins. My sister thought I was a freak, but you be the judge. Here are my highlights of highlights. I apologize if you don't understand. Saf, if you scroll down, I mention you...

Tomorrow I'm off to Kingston for a night to see my boys. Details when I return.

On my invite to the liveblog:
Erin: Can I invite Evey?
Michael: Yes.
Nathan: as a special feature
Michael: Evey is an excellent special feature.

On the dangerous use of staircases:
Michael: I am concerned about those giant statues.
Michael: If that is a staircase they're using, people is going to die.
Erin: Part of the ploy for ratings.
Erin: Every Oscars from now on, somebody dies.
Erin: Nobody knows who it will be beforehand.
Evey: Martin Sheen suggested that, sort of.
Michael: He did!
Michael: The runners up get eaten!

On Jai Ho:
Erin: I wonder what "Jai ho" means?

Michael: "Overrated song"

Evey: lemme ask my brown friend

Marten: it might not mean anything

Nathan: It means "Down to Earth"


On half of the group being in the same room in Ohio:
Marten: we have lowry cookies, though

Nathan: I want a lowry cookie

Jonah: iwantonetoo!

Michael: Aren't you in the same room as they are?

Marten: yes

Jonah: yes

Jonah: we're just obnoxious


On silly names of Bollywood choreographers:
Erin: He's called Longinus?

Marten: like the spear?

Erin: I guess.

Erin: Unless he was saying, like, "Lon Guinness" or something.

Evey: please let the Bollywood choreographer be called Lon Guiness.

Erin: Also, it's good to know that the people of Mumbai are taller than the ten-inch statue.


On the new Sandra Bullock romcom:
Evey: Sandra Bullock deported to Canada?

Michael: Yep!

Michael: She's YOUR problem now!


On multipurpose Oscars:
Jonah: but secretly, it is a shampoo bottle! *unscrews oscar's head to reveal shampoo*

Marten: I'd want my oscar to secretly be a lightsaber

Erin: The Oscar people are currently like, "Hmmm, the people like Shampoo bottles!"

Evey: there is a purpose to this thing

Michael: It's why people keep them in the bathroom.

Michael: Erin, isn't that Emma Thompson who did that?

Erin: Did what?

Michael: Keeps her Oscar in the bathroom.

Michael: Or...Oscars?

Erin: Yes.

Erin: I think so.

Erin: And now we know why.

Erin: It is a shampoo bottle.

Michael: She has two.

Michael: One is probably full of conditioner.

On Michael's Slumdog hate:


Michael: Shut up and give the award to Slumdog, Spielberg.

Michael: I have finance homework.